Moods

I've been in a mega good mood all day today, and seemingly for no reason. I don't know why but it's good. Just like sometimes I'm in a bad mood for no reason. It must be physiological.

So today I've been singing to myself all day. Mainly happy songs like Bare Necessities and Blues Brothers "C'mon now let me see you shake your tailfeather), but also songs that remind me of my childhood days singing in school concerts. One that has been running around my head all day is this, which I sang at the Cheltenham bicentenary concert in Shaftesbury Hall in 1988 when I was 10. Lord knows why i still remember the words to many of the songs from that concert:

Walk down a street with me
Any street will do
As we walk along the street you'll find
That I will
Smile at the people there
Start to hum a tune
And the reason simply has to be
That this is
My town. My town
People who visit want to stay
Then like me they'll also say
My town. My town
If I leave I want to come back
Straight away
But there's another voice
Joining in my song
And the one who's singing must be you
For I can
See by your cheerful smile
As we walk along
It's so clear
That my town
Is your
Town
Too!

I wish I could eat what I wanted

It's not that I want to go overboard. I just want some spaghetti, and I can't have spaghetti, because I have already eaten branflakes and some noodles today, both of which I shouldn't have eaten anyway because they are not wholegrain. Bah.

So, the vegan diet with limitless fruit and veg and pulses and limited wholegrain carbs and no processed food or fats works to lose weight - I lost 4lbs in 10 days. But it is not practical when you go away for a weekend and do communal cooking (the vegan part was easier than the limited carb thing) or when you want to take your boyfriend out for a meal and drinks to cheer him up, or when you are going out for a meal to celebrate your friend's birthday. Unfortunately all these events happened over the last few days resulting in me putting back on 3lbs in the last 5 days. So now I have to be good until the next unavoidable social situations, but I suddenly want to eat spaghetti!

You know what? I think I'm going to cook my chilli tonight, serve it on top of a huge salad and cook just a little bit of spaghetti on the side, just to satiate me. That shouldn't be too awful. It's not quite spaghetti with tomato and chorizo and rocket, but it won't make me fatter!

I'm hungry...

so I'm going to spend the time until lunch time writing this so I can take my mind off the hunger pangs.

The end of March deadline has passed and still no word from CHC - so they officially lied to us! We know that they have started processing May 2004 applications though, so we know our May 14th application will be dealt with imminently. At this late stage I am nervous about being accepted just as much as I am nervous about being rejected. The waiting game has been such a part of our life that any sudden action is going to be very scary! Graham's already stressing about the amount of stuff we need to sort out before going over - we really need to get some advice on tax and opening bank accounts over there, the best way of transferring all our money and how to establish a credit history in a new country. I don't like talking about it with him because he just gets angsty but I guess I can't afford to just let my "go with the flow" philosophy be dominant at this point because he needs me to be practical.

I have just spent a very pleasant weekend in Dorset with Kerrianne and her friends. We all holed up in a youth hostel for a couple of days to celebrate her birthday. I was a little nervous before I went because although I had met most of them before I hadn't really spent any proper time with them, so I thought I would be the outsider in the group trying hard to fit in. But they were all absolutely lovely and I got on with all of them a treat. It was a testament to Kerrianne's nature how great all her friends are and how easy it is to get along with them all.

We got to the hostel late in the evening on Friday and all cooked a big meal together and chatted loads and went to bed late. Unfortunately I had chosen the room with the snorer in so I didn't get much sleep that night...poor Shobz - we all let him know in the morning and he felt so bad about it that he switched rooms the next night! We did a lot of walking on the Saturday, following the circular coast path around the Isle of Portland, and and got completely sunburnt because we had all anticipated a wet weekend rather than the scorching hot blue-skied days that we got (well it would have been warm had the wind not been so strong and chilling!). There were 14 of us in all and it was so nice to get to know everyone, as everyone was as chatty as each other and we all intermingled the entire day. That night the boys cooked up a huge meal and we all ate in the candlelit dining room, and later produced Kerrianne's lovely big chocolate birthday cake. We had bought loads of wine but we were all too exhausted to actually drink much of it.

On Sunday we drove to Lulworth Cove and did a walk from there. Most of us weren't feeling quite so energetic as the previous day so we just walked to Durdle Door, stayed on the beach there for a while then walked back to Lulworth Cove to drink tea, eat pasties and cakes and soak up some rays on the beach (once we'd found somewhere fairly sheltered to sit). A few hardcore walkers carried on up the cliffs more before turning round and joining us back at Lulworth.

Dorset's just as lovely as Devon and Cornwall. I can't believe I'd never spent any time there before - such beautiful coastline and pretty little villages. Though I missed Graham not being there to share it with me, in a way I'm quite glad that he didn't come along because I wouldn't have plunged myself into the group quite so much and I probably would have been concerned about whether he was enjoying himself. After this weekend I feel that I have made very good friends with Kate especially and Ang who I am keen to go for drinks with more often now in Bristol. And I think I shall be keeping in contact with Shobz as well because he's a top bloke. It's a shame he's moved to London. Kerrianne's sister Kirsty and her friend Menai were also super nice!

Time for lunch now!