Countdown to Canada

2007-07-05T00:39:00.001+01:00

Our first Canada Day weekend

For our very first Canada Day weekend we decided to skip the parades, fireworks and city crowds and go on a trip instead. Mum and Dad are here so they hired a car and took us to Manning Provincial Park which is a 3 hour drive East of Vancouver, near the US border. We stayed in a cabin at the resort there so we could have a few amenities - a pub, a bistro, a little shop, a swimming pool etc

Manning Park was lovely and the weather turned out to be glorious. There are a good mixture of trails - long day hikes up the mountain peaks, shorter lake loops etc - it's also the starting/finishing point for the Pacific Crest Trail which goes all the way to Mexico . I wanted to go on the upper alpine trails to see the summer flowers as they are supposed to be amazing, but we were too early and they were still snow-covered. So we settled on some of the shorter trails instead, and a drive up to the Cascades viewpoint where you are surrounded by Canadian and US peaks.

On Canada Day itself we left mum and dad behind and kayaked on Lightning Lake for two and a half hours and it was just beautiful. We had a real Kodak moment when a deer came out and stood on the shore, just in front of a pretty bridge with tree-lined and still snow-capped mountains in the background, but unfortunately we didn't have a camera with us. Could have floated around on that lake all day but I must admit I was feeling pretty tired by the time we got back to shore. We arrived just in time to hear people singing the national anthem at a birthday cake cutting ceremony (Canada is 140 years young) attended by a nice mountie. We didn't get in line for the cake though as we were too busy jumping on our kayaks to try and deflate them.

We all managed to have a great weekend there doing different things. The only thing that spoilt it was the midges - Graham's head is twice the size now because of the amount they bit him! We didn't come prepared for that.

We stopped off at Bridal Veil Falls near Chilliwack on the way back to Vancouver - much more spectacular than I was expecting as it is so wide and tall and the water cascaded down the rocks at all sorts of different angles, rather than just in one long straight line like a lot of bigger waterfalls around here.

Photos here

2007-06-10T07:19:00.000+01:00

Wine whine

Last night was a bit of a disaster on the health front. We went to a work fundraiser Beatles Night. I drank more than my intended 3 small glasses of wine because Graham wanted a second bottle and for some reason I couldn't say no.

Because of this (and the fact that I was still peckish after dinner) I couldn't stop myself from eating the nibbles when they came out. So I ended up drinking and eating my way to over 2000 calories. Which wasn't so bad in itself as I did lots of exercise yesterday, but because it was crisps and cheese I ate far more fat than is healthy.

I have been doing so well since I started trying to lose weight again (lost 3lbs in this, my first week) that I'm cross with myself for not being able to control what I put in my mouth when I'm drunk (and cross for getting so drunk in the first place).

Never mind, it's just one setback and won't hurt in the long run. At least now I know that I can't trust myself, so I'll have to be more strict about stopping drinking after 3 glasses.

It was quite a fun night after we got a bit drunk and started dancing. The band sounded better after a few drinks anyhow, and we stayed until the end (midnight). Felt really hungover today though and it's been a bit of a non-event as I felt so lousy and the weather was horrible. This month's ivy pull was this morning and we didn't go so I'm feeling a bit of a slacker, but there was no way I could have gotten out of bed and to Stanley Park by 9.

Hopefully tomorrow we will go out for a nice hike so the weekend is not a total loss.

2007-06-06T03:22:00.000+01:00

Exercise

At the moment I'm on a diet, which seems to be working as well as it could be without doing anything totally drastic, and without doing any exercise. I'm replacing 2 meals a day with a meal replacement shake and a piece of fruit, and eating a nice yummy third meal (usually lunch because I feel it is better to spread the calorie load throughout the day, and I don't want to go through the whole day feeling deprived of tasty food - that would make me overeat when I do get to eat proper food). I'm eating a small healthy snack in the day if I feel the need, but that has only happened twice so far as most of the time I am feeling full. I've also cut down on alcohol consumption and have cut out fizzy drinks altogether.

Dolly at work gave me some brand of meal replacement shake that also comes with tablets that you take half an hour before the shake, supposedly so that you burn more fat/calories. In actuality it seems to be an appetite suppressant so that I feel full after my shakes. Unfortunately the shake itself tastes a bit nasty but it is not inedible and seems to contain a lot better stuff than your average Slimfast kind of shake. Also unfortunately, the shake and pills only seem to be offered as some kind of pyramid home marketing scheme, so when the powder runs out I won't be able to get any more because I'm not signing up to something like that thank you very much! I've bought a couple of different brands of shakey stuff to mix it up a little for now. They taste better, which is a good thing as they'll be the brands I'm using exclusively after Dolly's freebies have gone.

Although I know I've lost at least a couple of pounds, I've done practically no exercise since starting the diet last week, apart from a couple of hours of kayaking at the weekend. I need to start getting back into a daily routine so I can lose weight a little faster, be healthier and more toned and get rid of my aches. I'm going to start doing my long walks in the morning and/or evening again (might even make it a little jog in the morning) and hopefully go kayaking at least once a week. I also intend to throw in some cycling and maybe some badminton or skipping on the aerobic side of things.

On the stretching/toning side of things I've decided to give pilates a go as it seems to offer an all-over body workout which targets the right muscles and also helps with flexibility, coordination, posture and balance - the areas I most need help in! I've bought a big ball and a stretchy thing and a short DVD to start me off - I shall start that tomorrow morning and do it on the days I don't go out for my morning walk.

I'm aiming for 3-4 days a week doing 30 mins of basic, gentle pilates and 4-5 days a week getting in at least 45 solid minutes of aerobic exercise.

2007-06-01T19:42:00.001+01:00

9 months

I can't believe we have been here for 9 months already. The time has totally flown by. I'm glad we didn't just come out here on a year's work visa!

I thought it would be a good time to document some of my favourite moments, experiences and memories since I got here, in sort of chronological order.

Arriving – just being in the city again, not knowing what was to come but excited about the possibilities.

Lazy sunny days at English Bay/Sunset Beach

Canucks v Flames pre-season game, seeing Luongo in action

The 2 hours sitting in the sun on the rocks at Sunset Beach after deciding to quit Urban Fare

Both hearing good news on the job front within half an hour of each other. Having lived like poor people for the previous month we were unsure of how we should celebrate!

Evening strolls at Coal Harbour, waiting for the 9 o’clock gun to go off.

Arriving back from our short trip to England, really feeling like we were coming home

Seeing the mountains and ocean every day

Cheap good food – especially food courts and the abundance of sushi

Cycling the seawall around Stanley Park, English Bay, Sunset Beach and Yaletown

Finding out that my job is much better than my last

Discovering the world’s best burrito

Discovering the best cheap margheritas in Vancouver

Becoming a true Canucks fan

Hiking Lynn Canyon and Lynn Headwaters

The first snow

Snowshoeing for the first time at Cypress Mountain

New Year’s Eve celebrations at the Yale with tequila and Blues

Mum and Dad coming to stay

Finding a new friend in Kirsty when she came to visit

Galliano Island – ferry sailing, hikes, views, finding Boomer and the log cabin with its wood burning stove

Settling into our new flash apartment

Discovering nachos in Original Joe’s

Getting engaged

Discovering beautiful heritage houses

Walking the seawall from Monk McQueens to Kits

Amazing Spring blossom

Volunteering at ivy pulling in Stanley Park

Ade and Ellie arriving. Celebrating my birthday and new old job with them.

Cruising up Indian Arm

Kayaking on False Creek

Hearing the news that my job is to become permanent

Seaplane flight above the city

Special dinners – Christmas dinner with Jack and his mum and friends at the Sylvia Hotel, revolving around at Cloud 9 with mum and dad, our engagement celebration dinner at Granville Island Hotel, Celebrating Ade and Ellie’s arrival at Monk McQueens.

2007-06-01T16:25:00.000+01:00

Fun in the sun

We've just had an ace time with Ade and Ellie. As well as their fabulous company we have had a long stretch of lovely sunny weather which made everything the more easier to do.

Highlights of our week off with them included:

1) Dinner at Monk McQueens to celebrate their arrival

2) A luncheon cruise from Coal Harbour, passed Deep Cove and up Indian Arm for my birthday (great views, lovely food). I really want to kayak around Deep Cove as soon as we can, but it takes a long bus ride to get there so I'm not sure when we are going to manage it.

3) A seaplane flight over the city - amazing and we got a lot longer than the 20 minutes we expected

4) Kayaking around false creek - not in our kayaks but we rented a couple of double ones from Granville Island. This was my first time kayaking since I was 13 and to my delight I abslolutely loved it (apart from the part where I nearly steered us into an Aquabus) which is a great relief because it means that I haven't just blown $500 on something I'll never use.

5) Hiking in Deep Cove and having our lunch on a clifftop overlooking a beautiful view

6) Celebrating my new old job with bubbly and cocktails and a nice big steak at Cactus Club Cafe - my position is to become permanent as of June 1st - Hurray - vacation and sick pay, benefits and a pension!

7) Lots of fun and conversation. I've missed having a good girl friend these last 9 months.

They left yesterday. I wish it didn't hurt so much. But we're trying not to think about it too much - planning to be active this weekend whilst the weather is still gorgeous. If I manage to find myself a cheap life jacket we can actually go out on our own kayaks! And also this weekend a load of Heritage Houses in the city are opening their doors to the public so that might be worth a look. I think it's a little too hot to go for a long hike unfortunately but we shall see.

I put on about 5lbs whilst they were here - Adrian ate like a horse and lost 1lb the blighter. Graham and I are going to be eating more sensibly from now on - well, until mum and dad arrive in 3 weeks!

So I bought a kayak...

2007-05-16T03:37:00.001+01:00

An inflatable one, but a good inflatable one. Now I just need to buy a pump to pump it up with, a paddle to propel it with, and a lifejacket to save my ass with. Then I can get out there and do me some kayaking…

See more progress on: learn to kayak

Awesome

2007-05-16T03:31:00.001+01:00

I had such a great time pulling up all the ivy in Stanley Park. I thought it would be a good thing to do but I never realised I would enjoy it quite so much. I felt really happy and energised afterwards (though I ached for the 2 days after – muscles not used to the exercise).

Can’t wait till next month!

See more progress on: Volunteer

I've found my willpower!

2007-05-11T02:35:00.001+01:00

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been really focussed on helping myself lose weight.

1) I bought myself some scales last week and weighed about what I thought I did, hammering home the fact that yes, I do need to lose 40lbs. I weighed myself Saturday morning and have been disciplined enough not to weigh myself again all week, so Saturday will be weigh-day from now on

2) I’m doing really well at only eating when I am hungry and have started to retrain my brain into thinking of food more as fuel rather than pleasure. I’ve also been eating out a lot less because of this.

3) I am getting up early and going for a long walk before work – which makes my 10 minute walk to work an hour walk to work.

4) I am also walking a lot in the evenings after dinner, rather than staying in and watching TV (the Canucks bowing out of the playoffs early has been a bit of a blessing). This has the added bonus of stopping me from drinking alcohol so much during the week.

5) I continue to hike through my heel and joint pain. Last weekend we went for a hike and I had absolutely no energy and was very achey, but about 50 minutes into it I started feeling really good and so we carried on for another 3 hours.

See more progress on: Lose 40 lbs

Walking

2007-05-11T02:23:00.001+01:00

Now that the weather has turned all nice and sunny I’m doing a great deal more walking. I started off by going for a long walk after dinner every other night, but now it has graduated to getting up early to go for an hour’s walk along the seawall before work, and about an hour’s walk each evening too.

I’m really enjoying exploring more of the city, plugged into my ipod and smelling the flowers of spring. I’ve been around various different parks, and walked around expensive neighbourhoods with wide tree-lined streets and huge mansions to look at. It sure beats staying in, watching hockey and drinking, or staying in bed an extra hour.

Still doing a longer hike at the weekend as well, and this Saturday I’ve got 3 hours of pulling up Ivy in the park so that should be good.

When I’m feeling fitter and less of an old arthritic woman, I’m going to think about incorporating different forms of exercise too. When we eventually move to our new apartment I’m going to replace seawall walking with swimming, but that won’t be for many months yet. Maybe it’s time to start seriously thinking about getting back into my badminton.

See more progress on: exercise regularly

Good

2007-05-10T06:01:00.001+01:00

I’m still doing really well at this, to my surprise. I’ve been very disciplined and even when I am feeling jealous at all the nice things other people are eating, if I’m not hungry then it isn’t going in my mouth.

Yesterday, because I ate a donut (it was free!) about an hour before lunch I wasn’t hungry so I went out for a long walk instead of eating, then had a small snack in the afternoon.

I’ve stocked my locker at work up with things like baby carrots, small tins of tuna, rice crackers, dates, canned fruit and a snickers bar so that if I just want a snack/light lunch instead of a big hot lunch I’ve got stuff right there and I don’t have to think about what sort of level of hunger I am at and where I’m going to go. I’ve also got chewing gum for when I feel like chewing but am not hungry.

I’m starting to re-train my brain a little into thinking of food as fuel rather than food as pleasure. Well, rather that food can be pleasurable but that I don’t have to eat what I crave every time I crave it.

See more progress on: only eat when I'm hungry

This weekend

2007-05-10T05:48:00.001+01:00

Well I’ve signed up to become an Ivy Buster in Stanley Park this weekend, and I managed to get Graham to agree to come as well. We are both passionate about Stanley Park so it seemed an ideal way of starting to get into the volunteering spirit.

If all goes well we should be doing something we care about whilst meeting new people who share a common interest and getting some good exercise to boot! Hopefully this will become a once a month thing.

I’m not taking this off my list just yet as I haven’t done it yet. And even when it’s done I don’t think I’ll take it off my list as I’d still like to find myself a volunteer position somewhere where I can make a more frequent contribution than once a month.

See more progress on: Volunteer

Excuses, excuses

2007-05-04T00:47:00.001+01:00

I always said that as soon as I was settled in Canada with a job and everything that I would start volunteering regularly. I’m settled now and I know that if I don’t challenge myself to do this that I will always make some kind of excuse to put it off.

I’m going to start by looking at the local volunteering website to decide which area I’d like to volunteer in and whether there are currently any available opportunities.

See more progress on: Volunteer

2007-05-03T18:36:00.000+01:00

Fandom

I've never been a true fan of a particular team in a particular sport before. The closest I ever got was supporting Jenson Button and the Honda team in Formula One but whilst it was nice if he did well, I was never that bothered if he didn't.

Since attending my first NHL hockey game in Vancouver in 2001 I was a supporter of the Vancouver Canucks. From England all I could do was follow whether they won or lost, whether they got into the playoffs and read a few stories on the Internet about who their main stars were, but I couldn't call myself a fan as such.

Supporting the Canucks this year has been a fine introduction to true fandom for me. I've watched every game (or listened to it on the radio if it was not on TV and I couldn't afford/didn't want to go to a bar to watch it on Pay-per-View) and gone through many emotions to get to the obsessive hockey fan who stands before you today.

First there was excitement and anticipation about being able to watch an entire season for the first time. Then there was nervousness because the shape of the whole team had changed and nobody knew whether or not they would be any good. Then came frustration that they were playing so well as a team but never winning. After Christmas frustration turned to elation as they seemed pretty much unbeatable and rolled towards the Division title and a place in the playoffs.

The playoffs have really done me in though. It seems that hockey is all I talk about and I keep finding a way to link whatever I am doing to it (an example: we were at a concert the other week and the soloist piano player was fantastic.. I turned to Graham and said "If only the Canucks would play with as much passion"). I read through the sports pages of the newspaper every day to get my fix. I wait until I have heard the sports section on Fox radio before I get up in the morning. I check the Canucks and NHL sites daily for any news on injuries, or gameplans. In short, I have turned into a hockey nut. And I don't really like it. Why should I care so much what a bunch of guys who I will never meet do on the ice, just because they happen to play in my home town?!

This feeling is especially acute at the moment as they are playing a frustrating game. They played worse against Dallas than they had all season, were outplayed in most of the 7 games but still managed to win the series. Against the Ducks you think they are going to get beaten up, humiliated and walked over and they play just enough to compete and give you hope that they might actually win. They play better than the other team for most of the game and somehow manage to lose. They play worse and either win, or give the notion that they might just pull it off, only they don't quite get there.

But now they can't lose anymore. One loss in the next 3 games and they're out and no more Vancouver Canucks until October. If they somehow manage to get through the next 3 games and win the series it will be a miracle, but they will have downed the best team out there so I am confident they would go all the way to the final. If they lose, I'll be diappointed, but truthfully I'll be relieved as well as I can forget about living my life by hockey for the next few months.

2007-05-02T20:05:00.000+01:00

Rain

Yesterday I was admiring the blossom tree in the grounds of the church carpark that I walk across on the way to and from work. It was loaded with very beautiful pink blossom and really stood out from the grey of the carpark and buildings around it.

This morning when I passed it, the heavy rain of last night and this morning had washed most of the blossom off of the tree. It made me a little depressed to see it all on the ground, dead and dulled. I guess listening to my favourite depressing song by Portishead (Roads) didn't help my mood much either, but I got to work feeling a bit sad. I realise that this is a city well known for its rain, but I didn't realise how much the weather would effect my mood.

The rain is long lasting here, and it covers the mountains so that you wouldn't believe that they are there for long periods of time, but when the sun pokes out and the mountains appear the vibe of the entire city changes. It once again becomes a special, almost magical place and everyone seems to have an extra spring in their step. Not to mention it makes it a hell of a lot easier to go out and enjoy the type of outdoors lifestyle that most Vancouverites crave.

It's supposed to be nice and sunny in a couple of days after 24-48 hours of nasty weather so I'll be looking forward to that. It won't be as nice as the weather is in England at the moment, but any sun will do as far as I am concerned!

Wrong fit

2007-05-01T04:02:00.001+01:00

I was looking forward to our placement student starting at work last week. Having somehow managed to completely ignore the last one (and her me) I thought I’d really make the effort to get friendly with this one. But as hard as I try to be sociable towards her I am getting no kind of reaction back.

She’s so quiet and serious and doesn’t seem to have any interest in anything – she said she was too busy to have any hobbies but when I asked her what she did to keep her so busy she just said “surfing the net”. I appreciate that shyness is a barrier for a lot of people but I don’t think that that is the problem here. I’ve tried to find out what makes her tick but there’s nothing, and she doesn’t ask anything back.

I give up, it’s obviously not to be. I need someone who is at least more open to conversation and ideas and fun. Back to plan A of joining some sort of club.

See more progress on: Make new friends

This is never going to happen

2007-05-01T03:42:00.001+01:00

I’ll spend so long researching the 100 books I must read that I’ll have not time to do any actual reading. For now I’ll stick with the more attainable goal of READ MORE.

See more progress on: create a list of 100 must-read books and read them.

My feet, my feet, my horrid feet

2007-05-01T03:38:00.001+01:00

I’ve taken great steps to try and sort my feet out. I bought orthopedic insoles to help my painful heels. I bought some moisturising pumice foot scrub to soothe my feet in the evening and get rid of the dry skin and I bought more Athletes Foot cream to put on the soles of my feet in case the itching there is Athelete’s Foot.

My soles seem to be getting worse so I think it’s not fungal but rather irritated skin, so I’ll stick to just moisturising them daily.

My heels are kind of feeling better, until I walk long distances like I did yesterday, then they hurt like a bitch first thing in the morning and then at periods throughout the day. What am I supposed to do? I can’t possibly rest them as summer is coming up and I want to go walking lots, and I can’t lose weight without exercising which means using my feet lots. And I don’t want to go to the doctor and be told that I have to have corrective surgery which will cost a bomb. I’ll just have to grin and bear the pain at the moment.

I got a new pair of hiking boots which are far more comfortable than my current ones, which were just too small so hopefully that will go some way to helping too

See more progress on: Sort my feet out

Oh dear

2007-05-01T03:30:00.001+01:00

I failed miserably at this last week. Today I have had 1 cup of regular tea, 1 small juice, 1 glass of water, 1 cup of herbal tea and 1 glass of diet coke.

Must try harder from tomorrow

See more progress on: drink 8 glasses of water a day

Doing pretty well

2007-05-01T03:19:00.001+01:00

This has been one of my top three successes since last week. It’s very hard for me to do but I have been really disciplined, especially on week days. Now I just have to keep it up and work on what I eat when I do eat.

I was feeling hungry Saturday and ate a burrito for lunch and lots of pasta and bread for dinner so yesterday I wasn’t hungry all day and only had a piece of toast. Then we went out in the evening and I ate a huge portion of cheesy, sour-creamy, quacamoley nachos which I only had because they were on offer. I paid for it this morning mind!

Anyway, I’ll forget that one little failure – onwards!

See more progress on: only eat when I'm hungry

Test post

2007-04-22T06:19:00.001+01:00

I am doing 43 things.

2007-04-22T06:05:00.000+01:00

I'm back.
For a bit at least.

2006-08-22T16:05:00.000+01:00

Clearing out

2 days left at work after this one and I'm trying to clear out my personal files on my work PC. I found this Q&A in one folder and am about to delete it but thought I'd share it here first.

Your most marked characteristic?
My optimism or my curiosity

The quality you most like in a man?
Faithfulness/loyalty

The quality you most like in a woman?
A cracking sense of humour

What do you most value in your friends?
Their support

What is your principle defect?
Laziness

What is your favourite occupation?
Eating good food, drinking good wine, and having a friendly debate with good friends.

What is your dream of happiness?
Having enough money not to worry about having to work, to give myself and my loved ones the leisure time to travel extensively around a free and peaceful world. Having the energy to be generally more active and involved in more varied interests. Having bags of inspiration and the motivation to inspire others. Being surrounded by people who know and love and appreciate me.

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
To lose the love of my partner and family and friends – the loss of my entire support network.

What would you like to be?
Eternally content

In what country would you like to live?
Canada

What is your favourite colour?
Blue

What is your favourite flower?
Stargazer Lily

What is your favourite bird?
Lovebird

Who are your favourite prose writers?
Michael Marshall Smith, Haruki Murakami, David Mitchell, Douglas Coupland

Who are your favourite poets?
Robert Frost, Edna St Vincent Millay, Roger Gough

Who is your favourite hero of fiction?
Stark (Michael Marshall Smith’s Only Forward)
Mr Tom (Goodnight Mister Tom)
Chris Chambers in Stand By Me

Who are your favourite heroines of fiction?
Matilda in Leon
Leeloo in The Fifth Element

Who are your favourite composers?
Beethoven, Rachmaninov, Chopin and Mozart

Who are your favourite painters?
Kandinsky, Van Gogh, Picasso, Dali

Who are your heroes in real life?
My mother, Michael Marshall Smith, Michael Palin

Who are your favourite heroines of history?
Florence Nightingale, Marie Curie

What are your favourite names?
Milly, Ellie, Sebastian, Oliver/Olivia, Samuel

What is it you most dislike?
Rudeness and dishonesty and intolerance

What historical figures do you most despise?
Stalin, Pol Pot and all the other people with no basic regard for humanity.

What event in military history do you most admire?
None, but I admire every one of the poor sods in the front line during WW1 & WW2

What natural gift would you most like to possess?
Skill and confidence at public speaking

How would you like to die?
Peacefully and suddenly in my sleep

What is your present state of mind?
Calm and reflective

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
My love of food and my lack of perseverance with things that don’t interest me

What is your motto?
My heart is warm with the friends I make, and better friends I’ll not be knowing, yet there isn’t a train I wouldn’t take, no matter where it’s going.

2006-08-21T14:05:00.000+01:00

Leaving dos

The last two or three weeks have gone by so slowly and I think it is because I am just cramming so much into them. There are so many people that we have had to say good bye to, so many things that we need to sort out before we go - bills to cancel, government bodies to inform, change of address forms to fill out etc etc. It makes me realise that the fuller I make my life the longer it will seem to be and so the answer to not having enough time to do things is to make yourself more and more busy!

We've had 7 leaving dos so far, and there's one more official one to go.

First up at the very start of August was a leaving do for my friends in Cheltenham. Alex was being very emotional which then made me more emotional - I wish it wasn't necessary for him to have to get so drunk before he can reveal his true feelings, but that's the way it's always been with him and me. Anyway he is very proud of us going out into the world and making the life that we want for ourselves. Matt was typically Matt with a little bit of sadness rolled in, Liz was in amazement that it was actually happening, Kel is determined that she will come over to see us next year but I have my doubts as she rarely travels, Sharon and Abi both had grumps on earlier in the evening with Matt and Alex but they calmed down and came out eventually. Matt and Sharon, Alex and Abi all reacted how I expected them to - happy but sad, excited but wary. Justin turned up much later and seemed disappointed that I was properly going. Ben was absolutely slaughtered and with a new 16 year old girlfriend who was equally mashed, so not much changes there, Clare was quite quiet but amiable and genuinely pleased for us. Cazz and Russ caught up with us later at Matt's house and Cazz acted particularly weirdly - she was far too breezy for the situation and I'm not sure if she was hiding being upset or genuinely not bothered.

The next day we had a garden party at my parents to say good bye to family and friends of family. Unfortunately Carol and Mervyn got stuck on the motorway and couldn't make it which upset me. But I still got the chance to say good bye properly to Maria and Brian, Michael, Kay and Dick and the Lamberts amongst others. They all say that they'll visit but I'm not sure that they will.

A week after that we had a party to say goodbye to Graham's friends - Hing-Yu and Ade and Sheila managed to come down for the day to join us, Ade and Ellie and Jon and Jenny. Unfortunatly Jeff and Kim forgot the date and by the time we phoned them they had arranged to do something else. That was a nice low-key night though, until Ellie nearly had me sobbing with her wrecked dreams of us having kids the same age growing up together.

The Friday before last we had Graham's work leaving do. We started off early with just Graham's team drinking cider and eating Sheree's homemade pasties in Berkely Square. Then we moved on to Wetherspoons to get cheaply drunk then onto Bar Ha Ha, Mbargo and later La Rocca club which played very cheesy music. A good night was had by all and Shaun got very drunk and emotional and kept hugging me.

The day after that I had the big Bristol Spaced Meet which I had practically organised all on my own. There were about 14 of us and we were supposed to be having a BBQ on the downs but it was too blowy so instead we had a couple of drinks then headed to Brandon Hill for a picnic and later to the Watershed for more drinking. I think most people had fun. It wasn't as classic a meet as the Greenwich one but it was more chilled out and more sober on my part. So that was a goodbye to my Internet buddies. I'm not sure I'm going to be active on that forum again - that meet was probably my last hurrah and now I think it might be time to quietly leave it behind.

Last Monday was supposed to be a girly leaving do with Kerrianne, Kate and Ange but Ange was ill so it was just the three of us. That didn't stop us from getting really drunk and silly and emotional though so we really lowered the tone of Hullaballoos where we had gone for a more upmarket meal.

Friday was my Bristol friends leaving do - mostly people from badminton and a few chemistry postgrads and undergrads, along with Kate and Rich, Ange and Stan and Ellie for good measure. The night went very smoothly and I somehow managed to remain a lot more sober than Graham for the third weekend in a row. Kerrianne was very very emotional and she got me at it too! We ended up in the Hatchet and when everyone else had gone home we stood on the dancefloor and watched Ellie doing cheesy dancing in her Hello Kitty t-shirt to metal and rock. It was quite a sight!

In between all those official leaving dos I have had some emotional, more personal farewells - most memorable being Ed who made me cry and Moz and Fix who managed to see me for one night before they returned to Germany. I have also seen Tristan a couple of times which has been nice. We did discuss doing lunch before I go but I don't know if I'm going to be able to fit that in now.

It's been an amazingly social time, and it hasn't been that emotional because of the sheer amount of people who realise "Shit! They're actually going!" and do everything they can to try and arrange another meeting with us before we go. So it seems it's never good bye but see you soon, whether we do see them soon or not!

3 more days to go at work after this one, a few more lunch dates and then it's one proper last leaving do (people from my work plus a few Bristol friends) on August 31st before we move out of Bristol for good. And then of course I have to say goodbye properly to my family, and that is going to be awful.

2006-08-20T12:16:00.000+01:00

Camping out - middle class style

Yesterday James and Kate and Ali and John came round and took most of our furniture so now our flat is looking on the empty side. We sold our sofa and armchair and futon and dining chairs and 2 chests of drawers for £60 and a lift to the airport.

Graham is cleaning the mattress of our bed in order to sell it next week, so we've been camping out on the living room floor - it's quite exciting really in a sad and uncomfortable way!

Graham got an email this morning asking him to interview for the job at UBC and that really cheered us up as we thought they'd forgotten him. The interview date is 8th September which gives us a few days to sort ourselves out when we get there - we're flying over on the 3rd and moving into our apartment on the 5th. Meanwhile I've applied for 3 library jobs at UBC but haven't heard anything yet. I'm confident that I'll hear from them eventually though if I keep bugging them!

Got to go out, more updates later.

2006-08-03T19:37:00.000+01:00

O Frabjous Day!

Today has been a very good day.

This morning Graham found an email in his inbox from the IT department of UBC asking him if he was still intending on coming over in September and if he is still interested in the job he applied for there in June - is he ever! They said there were a couple of openings in the Networking team and the tone of the email suggested that they were very interested in him.

Then this evening we got home to the long awaited passport requests!
We'll be going to London on Thursday to hand in our passports and picking them up 2 weeks later with the shiny shiny shiny visas in them. Soon I will be booking flights to Vancouver - we expect to land sometime in the first week of September.

Yay! I've been bouncing up and down like a loony with a big grin on my face ever since.

Our timeline:
Application submitted: 14th May 2004
AOR: 11th July 2004
Delay letter: December 2005
Medical and updated info request: 2nd May 2006
Medical taken: 8th June 2006
Medical results received at CHC: 28th June 2006
PPR: 3rd August 2006

2006-08-01T10:05:00.000+01:00

I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me is the Stern Fact, the Sad Self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from.

Ralph Waldo Emerson is great. He wrote great poetry, great philosophical essays and has many brilliant quotes recorded from his writings, but the title of this blog entry is the one quote of his that really draws a parallel with my own life right now.

I have all these big plans about what my life will be like when I move to Canada - I'm going to spend loads of time hiking in the great outdoors; I'm going to volunteer for lots of charity work; I'm going to do tai-chi on the seawall at sunrise and then go for a swim before work; I'm going to go for a bike ride after work; I'm going to join the local community centre and not only sign up for things that I like such as badminton or cookery classes but also some things that I've never thought of before such as African drumming, pottery and belly dancing; I'm going to read lots of good books and poetry collections and start writing again...basically I'm going to get myself fit and fill my days with plenty of different experiences and lead a more fulfilling life.

But the reality is likely to be much much different from that dream. I'll probably end up being the me I am now only in a different place. I'll be too lazy to get up in the morning, I'll rush to work grabbing a coffee and muffin on the way, I'll sit behind a desk all day at work getting bored with uninspiring work and get no exercise which will make me feel tired and like doing nothing when I get home apart from cooking dinner and plopping down on the sofa in front of the TV. I'll still spend too much time on the Internet.

When I move away, I'm going to try to get away from the me that I am, the one that imposes all sorts of limitations on myself, towards the me that I want to be. I know that it's unlikely that I'll be able to escape myself completely, there are a lot of parts of myself that I really want to keep as it happens, but I do want a more fulfilling life and I must make myself do at least some of these things, otherwise what is the point in moving apart from a challenge and a change of scenery?

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

"The world belongs to the energetic."

"This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it."

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

Indeed Mr Emerson, you are quite right.

2006-08-01T09:31:00.000+01:00

Poetry

I'm enjoying reading a lot of Edna St Vincent Millay stuff at the moment...

Journey
Ah, could I lay me down in this long grass
And close my eyes, and let the quiet wind
Blow over me--I am so tired, so tired
Of passing pleasant places! All my life,
Following Care along the dusty road,
Have I looked back at loveliness and sighed;
Yet at my hand an unrelenting hand
Tugged ever, as I passed. All my life long
Over my shoulder have I looked at peace;
And now I would fain lie in this long grass
And close my eyes.

Yet Onward!
Cat-birds call
Through the long afternoon, and creeks at dusk
Are gutteral. Whip-poor-wills wake and cry,
Drawing the twilight close about their throats.
Only my heart makes answer. Eager vines
Go up the rocks and wait; flushed apple-trees
Pause in their dance and break the ring for me;
Dim, shady wood-roads, redolent of fern
And bayberry, that through sweet bevies thread
Of round-faced roses, pink and petulant,
Look back and beckon ere they dissappear.
Only my heart, only my heart responds.

Yet, ah, my path is sweet on either side
All through the dragging day,--sharp underfoot
And hot, and like dead mist the dry dust hangs--
But far, oh, far as passionate eye can reach,
And long, ah, long as rapturous eye can cling,
The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake,
Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road;
A gateless garden, and an open path;
My feet to follow, and my heart to behold.

Travel
THE railroad track is miles away,
And the day is loud with voices speaking,
Yet there isn't a train goes by all day
But I hear its whistle shrieking.

All night there isn't a train goes by,
Though the night is still for sleep and dreaming,
But I see its cinders red on the sky,
And hear its engine steaming.

My heart is warm with the friends I make,
And better friends I'll not be knowing;
Yet there isn't a train I wouldn't take,
No matter where it's going.

Song of a Second April
April this year, not otherwise
Than April of a year ago
Is full of whispers, full of sighs,
Dazzling mud and dingy snow;
Hepaticas that pleased you so
Are here again, and butterflies.

There rings a hammering all day,
And shingles lie about the doors;
From orchards near and far away
The gray wood-pecker taps and bores,
And men are merry at their chores,
And children earnest at their play.

The larger streams run still and deep;
Noisy and swift the small brooks run.
Among the mullein stalks the sheep
Go up the hillside in the sun
Pensively; only you are gone,
You that alone I cared to keep.

Inland
People that build their houses inland,
People that buy a plot of ground
Shaped like a house, and build a house there,
Far from the sea-board, far from the sound

Of water sucking the hollow ledges,
Tons of water striking the shore--
What do they long for, as I long for
One salt smell of the sea once more?

People the waves have not awakened,
Spanking the boats at the harbor's head,
What do they long for, as I long for,--
Starting up in my inland bed,

Beating the narrow walls, and finding
Neither a window nor a door,
Screaming to God for death by drowning--
One salt taste of the sea once more?

Ebb
I know what my heart is like
Since your love died:
It is like a hollow ledge
Holding a little pool
Left there by the tide,
A little tepid pool,
Drying inward from the edge.

Once More Into My Arid Days
ONCE more into my arid days like dew,
Like wind from an oasis, or the sound
Of cold sweet water bubbling underground,
A treacherous messenger--the thought of you
Comes to destroy me; once more I renew
Firm faith in your abundance, whom I found
Long since to be but just one other mound
Of sand, whereon no green thing ever grew.
And once again, and wiser is no wise,
I chase your colored phantom on the air,
And sob and curse and fall and weep and rise
And stumble pitifully on to where,
Miserable and lost, with stinging eyes,
Once more I clasp--and there is nothing there.

2006-07-21T14:05:00.000+01:00

Feeling spiritual

Yesterday I jokingly told Graham that if he was going to think contstantly about passport requests and nothing else he might as well give cosmic ordering a go. It's not his cup of tea at all, but what's he got to lose? I don't think he bothered, but I must admit that I lay there in bed last night asking the cosmos for the huge favour that is delivering to us our passport requests before the end on next week. It's not such a huge favour really, we're destined to get them eventually, I'd just like the cosmos to hurry it up a little.

I'm not sure whether I entirely believe in this cosmic ordering, especially since it is a bit of a celebrity fad at the moment, but I have said before in this or one of my other blogs that when I truely decide on something I want things usually start falling into place to make it happen. It probably is all just positive psychology - wanting something so much makes you much more likely to take action to get it, to identify opportunities that normally would just pass over your radar and to not give up on it until you get it - you start to think of ways you can get round any obstacles that might pop up in the way.

Having said that I'm still pretty firm in my belief that we and everything in this world are all part and parcel of the same thing. We create god, we are god, all of nature is god and god is nature, we are all one interconnected entity. Everything is linked and as such if we find a way to bend the universe to our will then nearly anything is possible. So right now I've got to send some positive vibes through the cosmos to the person at CHC who is dealing with our file - urge him/her (I think it is a her) to pick up our file and work through it and send us our passport requests, before thinking of summer and ice cream and picnics and holidays and Friday night out on the beer with her friends.

From Pantheism to Hinduism. I've just finished reading Cloud Atlas, a book very much based on the idea of interconnectivity through the years, on reincarnation. There's a poem in it by Ralph Waldo Emerson that really speaks to me. I've never come across it before but I expect it's very famous - I'm not a bit intelligent when it comes to poetry but I know what I like when I read it.

Brahma
If the red slayer think he slays,
Or if the slain think he is slain,
They know not well the subtle ways
I keep, and pass, and turn again.

Far or forgot to me is near,
Shadow and sunlight are the same,
The vanished gods to me appear,
And one to me are shame and fame.

They reckon ill who leave me out;
When me they fly, I am the wings;
I am the doubter and the doubt,
And I the hymn the Brahmin sings.

The strong gods pine for my abode,
And pine in vain the sacred Seven;
But thou, meek lover of the good!
Find me, and turn thy back on heaven.

2006-07-18T15:08:00.000+01:00

Another test

Again pretty accurate.

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

2006-07-17T13:57:00.000+01:00

All work and no play? Never!

I've been pretty busy at work, which has been good - I've been enjoying it. But I'm taking time out to do a few fun quizzes for an hour - I blame Clare's blog for leading me to the site.

So here are my results:

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life.

You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

You Are 29 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life.
You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first.
You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker.
You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is high.
You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person.
And in return, you expect the same from who you love.
Any sign of straying, and you'll end things.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is high.
You've loved, lost, and loved again.
You have had a wide range of love experiences.
And when the real thing comes along, you know it!

Dominance:

Your dominance is medium.
You tend to be the one with more power.
You aren't a total control freak in relationships..
But of course you don't mind getting you way!

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is low.
You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.
No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.
You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.
And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.

Independence:

Your independence is low.
This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships..
It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life.
In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

The Five Variable Love Test

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.
You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.
And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.
You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Your Personality Profile

You are dignified, spiritual, and wise.
Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself.
You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books.

You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.
You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.
A good friend, you always give of yourself first.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary.
You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward.
Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.
All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

You Are The Fool

You are a fascinating person who is way beyond the concerns of this world.
Young at heart, you are blissfully unaware of any dangers ahead.
You are a true wanderer - it has be difficult finding your place in this world.
Full of confidence, you are likely to take a leap of faith.

Your fortune:

You are about to embark on a new phase in your life.
This may mean changing locations, jobs, friends, or love status.
You are open about what the future will bring, and free of worry.
You have made your peace with fate, and you're ready to start down your new path.

What Tarot Card Are You?

And now I'm bored of that and should get back to work!

2006-07-13T12:55:00.000+01:00

Playing the waiting game

We're back to playing the waiting game but it's not that hard. After some panic with Royal Mail over whether or not they delivered our documents, and whether or not CHC received our medical results we are in a position again now where our fate is left up to the officer in charge of our file.

I'm hoping that the wait for passport requests won't exceed 2 months, which would make it the end of August. Then we could personally deliver our passports to the High Commission in London and pick them up 2 weeks later with the visas in them. Then we can spend a fortune on getting a last minute flight and be in our rental place in Vancouver by the week beginning 11th September, so we won't waste any money on that.

I've told my bosses and am just waiting to have a chat with them before I hand in my resignation proper. It looks likely that my last day of work here will be the 1st September, so I really hope that we don't have to wait for our passport requests much beyond that. Of course, worse case scenario is that we don't hear anything till October, hang around in Bristol unemployed, and either lose the apartment in Vancouver or pay for it even though we're not there. It'll hardly be the end of the world if that happens but it won't make for very happy times either.

I'm trying to put it out of my head for now as there's nothing I can do about it. I don't feel excited or nervous about going, I'm not even sure that I'm mentally prepared for it at all. But from past experience this is the way it works with me - emotionally I don't deal with anything until it is actually happening. It's the same when I go on holiday - I don't get excited about it, I just enjoy it when I get there. So I'll either enjoy it or get totally stressed out and become an emotional wreck once I step onto Canadian soil! Graham's the opposite I think, he is so anxious and impatient to get out there that he can concentrate on little else - it's all setting up offshore bank accounts, clearing the house as much as possible and selling what we can, staring longingly at katkam, checking his bank account obssessively to see whether the bankers draft has been cashed (the final fees payment to CHC) etc.

This Tuesday marked mine and Graham's 5th year together - that's pretty good going, hey? We didn't do anything special, but we'll be going out for a meal and drinks tomorrow night to celebrate. It also marked 2 years since CHC started processing our application for permanent residence. It's taken so much longer than we thought, but I still can't comprehend how people must feel who have just started their application now, knowing that their dream is at least 4 years away.

2006-07-13T12:28:00.000+01:00

Sitting alone in his room, Oral Roberts suddenly realized that pianists collect the souls of extraterrestials

I have been having fun with a random sentence generator at - it's likely to be a barrel of laughs until I get bored with it in about 15 minutes.

"I read in the newsgroup "alt.sex.bag ladies " that the rock stars are worse than Vax users."

"Aliens are better looking than slime balls."

"Only a hairsplitter would insist that the guidance counselors are expected to become tenors."

But some of the random sentences are very enlightened:

"Turtles disguise themselves as mobile home owners."

"Idiots are reincarnated as soap opera stars."

"Ghouls raise and train ogres."

"Unlike in years past, today's copy machine repairmen prefer the company of gerbils."
Ok. Maybe not

2006-06-21T15:55:00.000+01:00

Done and almost dusted

Today we have 1) sent off all the extra information that the High Commission wanted in order to finish processing the application. 2) faxed the documents to reserve our accommodation for the first 2 months we are in Vancouver. Yes, you guessed it, we went for the over budget downtown accommodation.

Now we're just waiting, totally paranoid, for the letter from the docs saying that everything is fine and they've sent the results to CHC. It'll be a load off my mind when that happens.

I've got to go to the docs tomorrow though. I've not been feeling right for weeks - uncomfortable stomach and now a pain in the area of my spleen. Hope it's nothing too serious :(

Last weekend we went to London and had a last trawl around the touristy places, although it was hot and we were tired on Friday, busy meeting internet folk on Saturday and hungover on Sunday, so we didn't get as much done as we planned. Spent a fair bit of time around Leicester Square as they had an event there, with excerpted performances from a lot of West End shows. The best we saw was the Blue Men, an experience made even better by it coinciding with the fly-past for the Queen's 80th Birthday - that was pretty cool.

The Internet folks were mostly a really nice bunch. Thank god - it would have been such a disappointment if I hadn't liked any of them in real life having spent a good part of 2 years in their company day to day! We sat outside The Trafalgar pub in Greenwich in the sun and drank too much and eventually left at midnight. I'm trying to organise a Bristol Meet now before I go off to Canada.

Off to Devon tomorrow night. We're staying with my parents in the Budleigh Salterton flat for 2 nights, then to Brixham for 1 night and spending Sunday with Graham's grandparents. That's going to be emotional as it'll probably be the last time we see them for a long time (unless they come to Ade and Ellie's wedding at the end of October and I'm able to get back for it).

2006-06-07T10:24:00.000+01:00

Sorting out things in a Canadian style-ee

That's a bit misleading. I mean sorting out all things Canadian, not sorting those things out in a Canadian style.

My head has been full of organising things recently. We've had to get more information together to send off to the High Commission - current work contracts, proof of funds, police certificates - and sort out payment of landing fees. We've had to get more passport photos done for the medicals, which are taking place tomorrow morning. At the moment we're still waiting for a bank draft to come through to pay the fees (because of course you can't pay by credit card or by cheque, you have to pay by a banker's draft made out in Canadian $, so it takes longer and costs you more) and the police certificates which seem to be taking an age this time around.

We'll take the medicals tomorrow (full examination, eye test, teeth check (cos obviously people with bad teeth are dangerous to Canada's welfare), cough test for Graham, blood samples, urine samples and chest x-rays) and the results should be sent to CHC the next day. If there is nothing wrong with us we'll hear no further from the docs. Then we'll send off all our information that we've got, and send the police certificates later on when we get them. Then we have to sit and wait for another few weeks to few months whilst CHC do more processing, and eventually they will send us a letter saying we've been approved and should send in our passports for them to stick the visas in.

Graham applied for a career break last week and was granted it Monday. He has told them that his last day of work at Avon and Somerset will be 1st September, give or take a couple of weeks. Once I have done the medicals and I know there's nothing wrong with my health I will be in touch with my bosses to tell them that I intend to resign on that same date. It's a difficult call as looking back at people's timelines in the past there has been anything from 10 days to 4 months between the medical results being sent to CHC and them sending out passport requests.

We hope to be out in Vancouver by the beginning of September, but it could be as early as mid-August or as late as late September/early October. I'm trying to sort out accommodation for when we arrive as we'd rather not go into a hotel, but not knowing a date is making things a bit difficult! We may end up paying a month's rent for only a few day's stay, but hopefully that won't happen.

At the moment I am torn between 2 currently available accommodations and still looking for more options at the same time. The first place is under budget - $950 a month incl. utilities (apart from phone) and high speed internet access - and is located in West Point Grey which is the most desirable neighbourhood because it is close to great beaches and pacific spirit park which is a huge expanse of forest. It is close to UBC, which would be great if we ended up working there, 7 mins on bus to campus and is only 5 blocks to W.10th Ave which has a fair few shops, restaurants and services. The downside is that it is about 20 mins by bus to downtown and that the apartment (700 sf, 2 bedrooms) is on the dated side and doesn't have a proper kitchen to speak of, which may just infuriate me. It has a sink, a microwave, a toaster oven (grill?), a kettle and 2 electric hobs, but no sign of any prep area. And it is only available for shorter term lets - 2-3 months.

The second place is well over budget at $1300 all inclusive (incl. local phone calls). But it is right in the heart of downtown - on Robson Street (the main shopping street in downtown with loads of good restaurants also) which is right in the middle of everything, but at the back of the building so it won't be particularly noisy. If we stay there we will be able to walk just about everywhere and have the best access to transit should we need to get out of downtown for jobs. It is month-month rental so if we wanted to stay there the entire time until our apartment is built and ready to move into then we can, or if we find somewhere cheaper in the meantime then we could move after 2 or 3 months. The place is also 700 sf, no second bedroom but a sofa bed in the living room, looks fairly modern and comfortable, has a roof deck the floor below, and has a huge kitchen!

So, do we pay $950 a month for an apartment that doesn't quite meet my criteria, but lies in a desirable neighbourhood - quiet, safe, and close to beautiful beaches and parks OR do we pay out more and live in the hectic bustle of downtown but with everything we need literally on our doorstep (west end, stanley park and the seawall are just a few blocks away and sunset beach/english bay are 10-12 blocks away). Both are very tempting. Seeing as when our apartment is going to be built we will be living downtown, should we spend the first few months of our time in Vancouver sampling the delights of a different neighbourhood, a different sort of lifestyle? Or should we live downtown/west end since that is what we have always wanted and see if we really like it, so if we find we don't we can sell our apartment when it is ready instead of moving into it?

I was checking the UBC job listings the other day and found perfect jobs for both me and Graham. There was no point applying for the library assistant job because that will be gone in a flash, but the one for Graham was a repost so they obviously have had trouble finding the ideal candidate, and I notice it was posted again in this week's listings. Graham has applied for it saying that he is landing in September, and is happy to come to Vancouver for an interview before then if they want. I don't expect he'll hear anything about this particular job, but hopefully they will take notice of him and at least put his resume on file for future positions.

There is a lady on the Brits2Vancouver website who has recently passed her Master in Library Science and has just started her first professional librarian post at UBC. I'm going to get in contact with her nearer the time to get some advise about applying for library assistant posts at UBC - the one I saw the other day was exactly the same as what I do now, so hopefully I should be able to get somewhere with that!

2006-06-06T13:17:00.000+01:00

Granddad

Well it has finally happened – my Granddad passed away last Thursday, 1st June – the night before my Gran’s birthday and 6 days before their 65th wedding anniversary.

He was a fantastic guy and I couldn’t have wished for a better Granddad – he was always my favourite. But I’m not sad that he is gone, in fact I’m happy that he has at last found release from the prison of his own mind and body. He had suffered from dementia, originally caused by arterial sclerosis, for the past 15 years or so. For the last 10 of those he had been living in a nursing home, for the past 7 he hadn’t known who I am and in recent years he didn’t know who anybody was, he became unable to speak words, do anything for himself and eventually became quite frail physically. He didn’t deserve any of it. If he had known how he was going to live the last years of his life I think he would have been mortified – he was such a strong, kind, intelligent, loving man.

I feel a bit mean not being sad at his passing, especially since my Mum and brother are taking it so badly. But there was a time, many years ago when I knew that Granddad no longer knew me and things could never be the same, when I grieved for him. Big, sobbing, painful grieving. After that I visited less and less, and accepted my loss of him, and moved on.

My Mum and Gran also grieved for him whilst he was still alive, but it’s different for them because they continued to visit him once, twice sometimes three times a week so they had no way of moving on – he was still very much alive to them, and he was still him, just a different sort of him. In the weeks before his death he even had a slight recovery of speech, started speaking proper words, held my Mum’s hand when she visited…so of course it is harder for her to accept that he’s finally, properly, gone. My Gran is feeling sad but relieved right now, but her life is going to change so much now, probably in ways she isn’t expecting. After 10-15 years of routine there is now emptiness – she is right to be keeping herself as busy as possible at this time.

As for my brother – I haven’t seen him this upset in a long while, but he’s never been able to deal with illness and death very well. Granddad was his favourite as well and I think he’s managed to ignore everything that’s been going on over the last 10 years, to blank it out. He didn’t grieve when I did, so he’s having to do it now. It’s unfortunate that he doesn’t have a partner at the moment to help him through it. I feel for him, I feel for my Mum and Gran, and of course when it comes to the funeral I’ll genuinely be crying with them as I remember his life and what I have missed out on for all these years and what I have now lost forever. But I am thankful for all the time I got to spend with him growing up, and I am thankful at how loved he made me feel, and I am thankful that he no longer has to suffer.

If there is a heaven I hope he’s up there right now having a blast and making up for lost time, because he damn well deserves it.

2006-05-04T17:37:00.000+01:00

Wha'?

I'm not feeling how I think I ought to be feeling. Instead I'm feeling rather grumpy. And it's making me more grumpy that I'm feeling grumpy instead of dancing and singing in happiness. I keep telling myself that maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet.

I'm feeling quite anxious. About the medicals showing up something nasty and then about leaving all this behind. It's what I've wanted to do for years, but now it's coming down to it my Taurean nature is kicking in and telling me that my life is comfortable here and I shouldn't take any unnecessary risks.

But I'm going to stick two fingers up at the Bull and launch myself with gusto into the adventure of a new path in life. I've only got the one life to experience as much as I can. I'm taking the road less travelled.

2006-05-02T22:17:00.000+01:00

Waheeeeyyyy!

Woohoooooooooooooo!

Hurrahhhh!

And similar.

You know why.

2006-05-02T15:34:00.000+01:00

Last of the limbo?

Today should be our last day in Limbo-land proper. A brown envelope with a maple leaf frank was posted through our front door this morning - 2 weeks shy of 2 years since we first applied to emigrate to Canada. This envelope should contain one of the following three things: a) instructions to take our medicals, pay the landing fee and provide them with updated information; b) a request for us to attend an interview in London on a certain date, perhaps with information about what it is that they specifically want to discuss with us; c) an outright rejection.

Obviously I am hoping it will be a! If that's the case then we're halfway there already as it means that our application has been provisionally successful. As long as the medicals don't show up any nasty surprises then we should have our PR visas in hand within around 3 months.

If it's b then it's not the end of the world but it means we will be in Limbo-land for a while longer and we'll be extremely stressed until the interview is over. It will also mean delaying our arrival in Canada for a good few months.

If it's c then I will cry and shout and scream bloody murder. Then we will have to start the appeals process and look into what our plan B is going to be if it is unsuccessful. We will probably go down the BUNAC route if this is the case - going over on a work permit for a year and hoping we can find a company to sponsor Graham.

I'm so nervous I have felt really sick all day. I am leaving work in 15 minutes and should know one way or the other in just over an hour.

Oh. My. God.

2006-04-06T15:35:00.000+01:00

Moods

I've been in a mega good mood all day today, and seemingly for no reason. I don't know why but it's good. Just like sometimes I'm in a bad mood for no reason. It must be physiological.

So today I've been singing to myself all day. Mainly happy songs like Bare Necessities and Blues Brothers "C'mon now let me see you shake your tailfeather), but also songs that remind me of my childhood days singing in school concerts. One that has been running around my head all day is this, which I sang at the Cheltenham bicentenary concert in Shaftesbury Hall in 1988 when I was 10. Lord knows why i still remember the words to many of the songs from that concert:

Walk down a street with me
Any street will do
As we walk along the street you'll find
That I will
Smile at the people there
Start to hum a tune
And the reason simply has to be
That this is
My town. My town
People who visit want to stay
Then like me they'll also say
My town. My town
If I leave I want to come back
Straight away
But there's another voice
Joining in my song
And the one who's singing must be you
For I can
See by your cheerful smile
As we walk along
It's so clear
That my town
Is your
Town
Too!

2006-04-05T16:03:00.000+01:00

I wish I could eat what I wanted

It's not that I want to go overboard. I just want some spaghetti, and I can't have spaghetti, because I have already eaten branflakes and some noodles today, both of which I shouldn't have eaten anyway because they are not wholegrain. Bah.

So, the vegan diet with limitless fruit and veg and pulses and limited wholegrain carbs and no processed food or fats works to lose weight - I lost 4lbs in 10 days. But it is not practical when you go away for a weekend and do communal cooking (the vegan part was easier than the limited carb thing) or when you want to take your boyfriend out for a meal and drinks to cheer him up, or when you are going out for a meal to celebrate your friend's birthday. Unfortunately all these events happened over the last few days resulting in me putting back on 3lbs in the last 5 days. So now I have to be good until the next unavoidable social situations, but I suddenly want to eat spaghetti!

You know what? I think I'm going to cook my chilli tonight, serve it on top of a huge salad and cook just a little bit of spaghetti on the side, just to satiate me. That shouldn't be too awful. It's not quite spaghetti with tomato and chorizo and rocket, but it won't make me fatter!

2006-04-03T12:32:00.000+01:00

I'm hungry...

so I'm going to spend the time until lunch time writing this so I can take my mind off the hunger pangs.

The end of March deadline has passed and still no word from CHC - so they officially lied to us! We know that they have started processing May 2004 applications though, so we know our May 14th application will be dealt with imminently. At this late stage I am nervous about being accepted just as much as I am nervous about being rejected. The waiting game has been such a part of our life that any sudden action is going to be very scary! Graham's already stressing about the amount of stuff we need to sort out before going over - we really need to get some advice on tax and opening bank accounts over there, the best way of transferring all our money and how to establish a credit history in a new country. I don't like talking about it with him because he just gets angsty but I guess I can't afford to just let my "go with the flow" philosophy be dominant at this point because he needs me to be practical.

I have just spent a very pleasant weekend in Dorset with Kerrianne and her friends. We all holed up in a youth hostel for a couple of days to celebrate her birthday. I was a little nervous before I went because although I had met most of them before I hadn't really spent any proper time with them, so I thought I would be the outsider in the group trying hard to fit in. But they were all absolutely lovely and I got on with all of them a treat. It was a testament to Kerrianne's nature how great all her friends are and how easy it is to get along with them all.

We got to the hostel late in the evening on Friday and all cooked a big meal together and chatted loads and went to bed late. Unfortunately I had chosen the room with the snorer in so I didn't get much sleep that night...poor Shobz - we all let him know in the morning and he felt so bad about it that he switched rooms the next night! We did a lot of walking on the Saturday, following the circular coast path around the Isle of Portland, and and got completely sunburnt because we had all anticipated a wet weekend rather than the scorching hot blue-skied days that we got (well it would have been warm had the wind not been so strong and chilling!). There were 14 of us in all and it was so nice to get to know everyone, as everyone was as chatty as each other and we all intermingled the entire day. That night the boys cooked up a huge meal and we all ate in the candlelit dining room, and later produced Kerrianne's lovely big chocolate birthday cake. We had bought loads of wine but we were all too exhausted to actually drink much of it.

On Sunday we drove to Lulworth Cove and did a walk from there. Most of us weren't feeling quite so energetic as the previous day so we just walked to Durdle Door, stayed on the beach there for a while then walked back to Lulworth Cove to drink tea, eat pasties and cakes and soak up some rays on the beach (once we'd found somewhere fairly sheltered to sit). A few hardcore walkers carried on up the cliffs more before turning round and joining us back at Lulworth.

Dorset's just as lovely as Devon and Cornwall. I can't believe I'd never spent any time there before - such beautiful coastline and pretty little villages. Though I missed Graham not being there to share it with me, in a way I'm quite glad that he didn't come along because I wouldn't have plunged myself into the group quite so much and I probably would have been concerned about whether he was enjoying himself. After this weekend I feel that I have made very good friends with Kate especially and Ang who I am keen to go for drinks with more often now in Bristol. And I think I shall be keeping in contact with Shobz as well because he's a top bloke. It's a shame he's moved to London. Kerrianne's sister Kirsty and her friend Menai were also super nice!

Time for lunch now!

2006-02-07T12:59:00.000Z

Some news

We have moved from our old place into a rented flat the other side of the Downs (nearer the pubs and restaurants) which is a fab location but the flat is rather grannified (we even have a granny shower cubicle!). Can't complain though as the rent is really cheap for the size and location. We moved in on 3rd December after finally selling the other place - after having had 2 sales fall through it was a big relief to get it off our hands but we really did love the place so I do miss it a bit. I especially miss the neighbours!

My Auntie Maureen died in December - though expected, it was still a big blow. She was a real character and I'm really going to miss her, even though I didn't see her much because she lived in Australia we still connected brilliantly whenever we saw each other. I'm glad she is no longer in pain though, cancer is such an awful illness to battle.

We have recently invested in another property in Vancouver. The second apartment is in the same development as the other one so same arrangement with the deposit (ie now we have paid 25% we don't have to pay anything else until 2007 completion) but in a different tower and is a little bit special as although it is only a 1 bed & den, it is on the 33rd floor which is the sub-penthouse level so it should have fantastic views.

My parents invested 50-50 with Graham on the second property and the idea is to rent it out to some affluent young executive and cover the mortgage payments that way. But my mum is so excited about it that she is hoping that her and my dad will be able to cover the mortgage for at least the first year so that they will be able to use it as a base when they come over on extended trips to see us, and rent it out cheaply to other family and friends as a holiday base when they are not there. Of course if we end up broke by the time 2007 comes round and we can't afford to keep it then we will just sell it and mum and dad will invest their monies elsewhere, but we hope that won't happen.

We're waiting anxiously for news from Canadian immigration. The predicted 18 months was up in the middle of January but we got a letter from them in December saying that we should expect a delay in the processing of our application but that they will definitely have dealt with it by the end of March. Last week we received some original documents back with a note saying that they had been copied and added to our file, so it looks like an Immigration Officer is looking though our application right now so it should be a matter of weeks. We're just hoping that when we do hear from them it will be a request to take our medicals and pay the landing fees, rather than an invitation to interview or a rejection! I don't know what on earth we are going to do if we are rejected after all this time - our hearts already belong to Canada. When we were there again last summer we had such a fantastic time, and the more we go there, the more people we meet and the more we feel at home.

We've planned lots of British holidays as there are places we need to see before we leave! Just before Christmas we spent a long weekend seeing Ed in Brighton (brilliant place), for New Year we went to Ireland for the week with Ade and Sheila staying in Co. Cork (Kinsale, lovely little town) and for Graham's birthday a couple of weeks ago we went to Edinburgh (just fantastic). At the end of March I am off to Dorset with Kerrianne and her friends for her 30th birthday (staying on Portland), in April we are going to the Scottish Highlands for a week, and in May my parents are taking me and Graham to the Lake District for 5 nights where I will celebrate my birthday.

All is good right now. Graham and I are loved up to the max and getting on so well right now which makes everything all the more wonderful. Just hope that something doesn't come along to burst our bubble!

2005-11-15T14:10:00.000Z

Canadian travel journal part 2

Savona to Vancouver

We drove a little on the Trans-Canada Highway before veering off onto the lovely Highway 99, otherwise known as the Sea to Sky Highway. It was a very long and winding road, with lots of steep bits to go up and down and several hairy bits where there was just a single lane bridge to cross and you had to hope that anyone coming the other way realised that you were coming through and gave you the right of way. It was no surprise that cyclists had given this particular road a miss, and I’d hate to think what it must be like driving it in the dark, or in the snow or any bad weather conditions. But hey, there were only a few near-landslidy bits.

We passed through a couple of towns en-route – Lillooet, a big first nations community, looked pretty rundown, and Pemberton was tiny. We ventured into the museum there but only to go to the toilet.

The prettiest thing we passed was Lake Duffy. I don’t know what mountain was in the background but it made for a very nice photograph!

At about lunchtime we arrived in Whistler. For some reason I was expecting it to be less busy than when we went a couple of years ago in winter but I was very wrong. The Whistler summer season still seemed to be at its peak – the place was heaving. We didn’t spend too long there – just enough time to eat some lunch and take in some of the action at the Red Bull Elevation BMX dirt jumping competition.

It was a great atmosphere and some of the tricks these guys were getting up to were amazing and they were jumping so high – and that was just the practice session. Unfortunately we had to leave before the main competition as it had been delayed due to high winds.

The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful – passing by Squamish which is in a development blitz due to the Vancouver Olympics in 2010, and Brittania Beach which is still as desolate-looking as ever. We knew we were getting close to Vancouver once we hit the traffic jam. It didn’t take us as long as we thought it was going to and pretty soon we were driving over the great Lion’s Gate Bridge into our favourite city and it really did feel like we were coming home.

Vancouver day 1

We’d decided to get out of our comfort zone and stay somewhere other than downtown for once. Our B&B was located in Kitsilano, a beachside suburb that is still pretty central. I was very pleased with our room – it were reet lovely:

As soon as we’d dumped our bags Graham was on the phone to his business contact and had arranged to meet him in the coffee shop down the road, so I wandered off on my own for a couple of hours. I picked up a newspaper and a coffee and headed straight to Kits beach to get burnt in the late afternoon sun.

That is not my photo – you may have guessed!)

It was such a nice atmosphere being a Friday – all the young pretty things were on the beach playing volleyball and having barbecues. Being back in the place that I loved gave me a real cosy feeling and I just sat with a grin on my face answering in my head all those people who have ever asked me the question “Why do you want to live in Vancouver?” – come on, the place is beautiful, who wouldn’t want to live here?

I met with Graham again and we took an Aquabus over to Downtown.

That evening we visited one of our old haunts – a supposedly British pub in the West End that used to be called the Fox and Firkin but has now been renamed Soho Bar (these Canadians have got a lot to learn when it comes to what a British pub is like, I mean come on – all patrons sitting down, receiving waitress service and watching sport late on a Friday night?). We drank lots of honey beer and ate very good, very cheap food whilst we peeked at the view of English Bay at night through the window blind.

Vancouver day 2

We still had the car for one day so we drove to North Vancouver and went to Grouse Mountain. The cable car ride up to the top was a bit hairy, squished in with about 50 other people and swaying rather alarmingly a times.

It was also rather expensive, but once up there we spent the entire day being entertained. We expected it to be a bit chilly up there but it was really hot, and we both got very burnt after a few hours. First of all we went on a nature trail with a guide and learnt lots of interesting stuff about the animals and trees in the habitat, nearly all of which I have since forgotten. Then we came across a First Nations Feast House just in time for a performance from the Squamish and Lilloet divisions of the First Nations Youth Ambassadors. We sat in this feast house whilst they told us about their history and the work they are doing to help integrate the First Nations community with the rest of Canadian society and to highlight First Nations culture and history. Then they sang some traditional songs with dancing, inviting us all to join in with the last song, so we all paced around in a circle and did some strange gestures that represented gathering food and such like, followed by lots of smiles and shaking of hands.

After that we went for a little ride on one of the ski lifts – which took us down one side of the mountain and back up again – before heading to the lumberjack show. It was a very entertaining and very awe-inspiring show. It started off with a bloke pretending to be a stupid drunk tourist arsing around on top of this:

Which of course he fell off towards the end but he was on a wire. The main show was a competition between two fellas dressed in hillbilly costumes and dissing each other’s wife, family and logging skills. There were five rounds in which they did speed sawing, two-person sawing (with a girl each from the audience), wood carving (one of them made a baby seat which they then gave to the youngest member of the audience – a 2-week old baby), log rolling (running on a log in water trying to make the other fall off) and tree-climbing (climbing the poles in the picture above). The winner climbed his pole and came back down again in 10 seconds – that’s no lie, I have a video of it to prove it! And he wasn’t on a wire which made it even more unbelievable. The guy we were supporting, Willy, didn’t do the climbing that day as he had fallen off it the day before and hurt himself.

After all this excitement we went to find the orphaned bear cubs, but unfortunately it was too late and they had gone back into their den to sleep for the rest of the day. We left before dusk so didn’t get the chance to see them at all. However, we did see lots of wolves in the wolf enclosure and they were cool.

We also watched a falconry display whilst we were up there – I can’t remember now what type of birds they were. There were certainly at least 2 different hawks and an owl and they were showing off their hunting skills. Unfortunately one of the birds was chased off by the local ravens and went missing for 15 minutes so he missed his starring part in the show. Them ravens are tough little critters, and they are protected too since they play such a huge part in First Nation culture.

We went back down the mountain and drove back to downtown, spending a long time trying to figure out just where we were supposed to drop the hire car off. We then went for a walk to find out how progress was going on the building of our apartment. From this picture you can see that they don’t seem to have done too much!

There has been progress since the last time we saw it and we were assured by the developer that everything is very much on schedule for its 2007 completion. Apparently once they have built the structure of a tower they can fill in the levels at a rate of 1 floor a day. At the moment they are still in the process of building the Costco supermarket and the parking levels that will be underneath the towers.

2005-10-04T19:57:00.000+01:00

Canadian Travel Journal Part 1:
Calgary to Savona

Calgary

We arrived in Calgary Saturday afternoon and took a cab straight to our B&B – the taxi driver didn’t know where it was and asked us for directions, even though we’d just arrived in the city. We eventually found it and were welcomed into a gorgeous house by Ron and his partner Michael. We had the run of the whole bottom floor of the house – lounge, bedroom and garden decking, and if it hadn’t have been so spotless it would have been a real home from home!

Saturday night we explored the local shops and restaurants on Uptown 17th Ave (a block away from our B&B), had a couple of beers in an Irish pub with live music and a pizza and jug of beer outside one of the restaurants and then went to bed and were snoring away by 7.30!

The next morning we were up early to possibly the best breakfast I have ever had – a banana split but with 3 different kinds of yogurt instead of ice cream, and cereal and berries instead of sprinkles. Then came the most divinely fluffy spiced turkey and asparagus omelette served with a croissant with homemade banana and rhubarb jam.

We went for a walk downtown but it was eerily quiet – nobody seems to come to the centre during the weekend as most people live out in the suburbs, a stark contrast to Vancouver when anybody and everybody is out on the street having breakfast, socialising or just chilling out on a sunny Sunday morning. The thing that struck me most about the city other than that was how tiny it was – there were few skyscrapers and not much of a commercial shopping area. We went for a nice walk along the river and over to the Kensington area which had a little more oomph about it and I suppose would be called the trendy part of town. It was about 31 degrees celcius and we were hot and bothered so we went into one of the local bars and watched the Turkish Grand Prix, but had to keep any cheering and excitement to a minimum because the barmaid was recording the race so didn’t want to know what was happening (pretty hard when she was surrounded by 3 huge screens showing it!).

In the evening we were picked up by my parents’ friend Jackie who emigrated with her husband a few years ago. She took us to her ranch in the country, somewhere near Canmore, and we had a nice night chatting away to her and Paul, being fed, and playing with the dogs. From their back porch there is nothing to see but empty farmland until you get little glimpse of the Rockies far in the distance.

The next morning we picked up our rental car and started on the drive to Jasper. We have no photos of Calgary city as there was nothing really worth taking a picture of in our opinion.

The Icefields Parkway

The drive between Calgary and Jasper was absolutely awesome. We bypassed Banff and Lakes Louise and Moraine because we’d seen them last year, although I would have liked to go back but we didn’t really have the time. After Lake Louise the road becomes known as the Icefields Parkway and it is lined with beautiful turquoise glacier-fed lakes and of course the glaciers themselves atop of huge mountains on either side. It must certainly be one of the most beautiful drives in the whole world, and a lot of people see their first bear, elk, wolf or coyote along this road which would make it all the more fantastic (we didn’t get lucky this time).

The first major stop was Bow Lake, which nestled alongside a mountain that contained the Crows Foot glacier – thousands of years old and 50 metres thick in places, I think it was the first glacier we’d both seen up close.

After a couple more lovely turquoise lakes we stopped at the trail to Peyto lake. It was quite a steep climb and took about 20 minutes but the view at the top of the lake surrounded by a whole corridor of mountains was breathtaking! It was just a shame that there was no access to the lakeshore.

Next major sight was the Columbia glacier on Athabasca Mountain. It was absolutely massive. We parked in the lot and walked up to the base of the glacier but my heart was really thumping and I felt quite unwell. I figured that it was a bit of altitude sickness and settled for taking just a few steps on the glacier then sitting down on a rock at the bottom and watching Graham walk as far as he could to the barriers at the top. He loved it. The only way you could go any further is to take a trip out on one of those buses with huge tyres (each wheel is taller than me), right up on top of the Columbia Icefields. Graham wanted to do this whilst at Jasper but we ran out of time.

We continued on our drive to Jasper, stopping at a couple of rivers and waterfalls on the way, and arrived in the evening to a town where the houses on the street go in such a random order that it took us a while to find our accommodation. We were staying in a sort of annexe to someone’s house and had a nice double room and lounge to chill out in. Jasper is like a mini, less busy version of Banff with fewer pubs but probably just as many restaurants (although they all seemed to serve exactly the same food). We were lucky enough to stumble across a good brewpub on our first night so we ate and drank in there.

Jasper day 1

The weather wasn’t particularly nice the next day so after our obscenely large breakfast we decided to head west to see Mount Robson (which is actually over the border in British Columbia) and do some walking. At the border of Alberta and BC we stopped at a really lovely quiet lake called Yellowhead Lake (the road was named the Yellowhead Highway). Even though it didn’t have the vibrant blue colour of the other lakes we had seen, this was definitely a favourite of ours and it helped that we were the only ones on the trail to the lake. Unfortunately it was still pretty overcast at that point so we lost the peak of the mountains behind the lake in our photos.

We got to Mount Robson, the highest peak in the Rockies, and its peak was also covered by cloud. It was also a disappointment to find out that the trails we had hoped to do were a lot longer than the tourist officer had led us to believe, so we decided to skip that and instead went onto Rearguard Falls where we were told we may be able to see some salmon spawning. Another nice spot, we didn’t see much salmon, but we did see lots of whitewater rafters on the rapids.

I was only a little bit jealous of their adventure. It was cold and I’ve never fancied rafting much because I just know that I would fall in given my luck and lack of balance.

We then drove to another waterfall – the Overlander Falls and did some nice trail walking around there.

We returned to Jasper earlier than expected so decided to drive up the local mountain Mount Edith Cavell. The road up to it is so winding and treacherous with a zillion potholes that it is only open 3 months of the year. At the very top they had a lovely walk around some glaciers and a tiny glacial lake at the bottom of them. The biggest of them was called Angel Glacier because it looks like an angel spreading its wings.

It was a biggy. The other glaciers were a lot smaller. Some silly people had gone off the path and were climbing to the bottom of the glacier, and as we started the walk back we heard the glacier crack a couple of times and were afraid that a big chunk was going to fall off on top of people. Luckily for them it didn’t move.

We headed back into town to get drunk and I got round to eating my elk burger that I had been looking forward to.

Jasper Day 2

We settled for a rather lighter breakfast than the day before and set off towards Lake Maligne a few miles north of town. En-route we visited Maligne Canyon which was awesome. The canyon was so deep and the waterfalls so powerful (and in some cases high) – we spent a long time just gazing at them. Unfortunately canyons aren’t the easiest things to take photographs of, you can never quite do them justice – hence no photo of Maligne Canyon here.

We arrived at Lake Maligne.

and it was a bit on the chilly side. When I heard that it was a 7-hour trip in a canoe just to get to Spirit Island (one of the most famous views in the Rockies) all thoughts of a couple of hours messing around in boats left my mind. It didn’t help that it was so overcast that the water didn’t look as turquoise as it normally did. We settled for getting on a motorised tour boat to the Island (where incidentally we were told that the temperature of the water never exceeded 4 degrees celcius and that if you fall in hypothermia sets in within about 15 minutes, which made me even more glad that I had bypassed the canoe option). The boat trip was very informative and also very entertaining thanks to a young tour guide who knew how to tell a good story. Unfortunately I’m not so good at remembering those stories, so I won’t try and repeat them here.

Spirit Island was as lovely as expected really. It certainly got me taking copious amounts of photographs such as this one:

It is set against such a magnificent backdrop: All Canadians reckon that if there was ever to be a meeting of the gods then this would be the venue. The tranquillity of the area really hits you – motorised boats are not allowed past a certain point (just past the island) to prevent noise pollution in the area. I can’t remember the exact details but there is no other lake in a National Park that allows a motor boat on its waters – its something to do with the boat company being there before the National Park system was actually set up, so therefore they are excluded from the normal rules. The boathouse is actually a heritage site would you believe, at the grand old age on 70.

Facts about Spirit Island: it is not actually an island as it is attached to the mainland by a spit, but from certain angles it looks like an island. The toilets on the island are the world’s only solar-powered flush toilets and are extremely ecologically sound - wastewater is run through a state-of-the-art filter where biological action creates effluent used to water and feed nearby spruce trees - and therefore they were extremely expensive to build (something ridiculous like $1 million each). And the island is named Spirit Island because a photographer once spent several days on the then anonymous island waiting for the right moment, the right light, to take the photograph which won him a national competition. He named it Spirit Island as he believed that it captured the true spirit of the Rockies.

On our way back to Jasper we stopped at the Fairmont Hotel where the Queen had recently stayed on her visit. We saw an elk, we wandered around the very expensive shops, and lazed about on a deck overlooking one of the lakes in the resort before heading back to town to play pool, eat and get drunk again.

Jasper to Savona

Woke up this morning and said goodbye to our hosts only to walk out into the garden and find a big mess. Their trees and bushes had been destroyed in the night by an elk! It had eaten most of the bush right outside our bedroom window, I have no idea how we didn’t hear the thing. I probably woke up thinking it was just Graham grunting!

Our drive to Savona was fairly uneventful – we went past Yellowhead Lake again and stopped there for a while, taking more photos as it was such a clear day and the reflections on the lake were a lot better than before.

also stopped to take less cloud-obscured pictures of Mount Robson.

We stopped off at a couple of places to watch spawning salmon – we saw both Sockeye and Coho salmon making their exhausting journey. In a couple of months most of them will be dead, having been eaten by bears or eagles or having found their place of birth, laid/fertilised their eggs and died of exhaustion.

We were supposed to spend 2-3 hours in Wells Grey Provincial Park, home of one of the tallest waterfalls in Canada (it is three times higher than Niagara), but we couldn’t for the life of us find the road to the entrance. We passed through the town of Clearwater (the gateway to the park) 3 times in different directions but we couldn’t find a sign to it or the tourist information office, so we gave up and I had a grumpy fit for about an hour.

We stopped in Kamloops to get some grub but didn’t hang around long. It didn’t actually look as bad as everyone says it is, but Graham just wanted to get on to our destination. Our destination being Savona, a tiny place in the middle of nowhere on Kamloops lake. The “town” consisted of a road with a general store and roadside diner at either end with a few houses and our hotel along the lakeshore. But it was nice eating takeaway pizza, drinking a bottle of wine and sitting on the lakeshore beach watching the sun go down – an extremely relaxing night.

2005-09-29T14:04:00.000+01:00

When I say soon...

I mean before the end of the year. I was on a roll writing the journal when i was on my own in the library, but now everyone is back from holiday I can't be so much of a slacker at work! And term starts next week so it's going to get busy. I will get on with it though I promise. And the Paris diary (which inexplicably stopped being written at day 5 of 7).

I've been so tired after work the past couple of weeks. I think it may be because of my new flat screen monitor which is smaller and brighter then my old monitor and not so good for my eyes. It's about time I got myself to an opticians. Last night I was in bed by 8.30 p.m., I just couldn't keep my eyes open and the Terry Jones documentary The Story of 1 annoyed me so much that I had to go to bed and weep for the quality of BBC programming.

I was fascinated about the history of numbers when I studied a bit of it for my Ancient Science course at uni, but this was probably the most annoying programme I've ever seen. I gave up after 15 minutes because I was shouting at the TV, pleading with Terry Jones to give us something of value to watch.

To make mathematics accessible to the masses you don't need to treat your audience as if they are total dimwits. A combination of pre-school material, Terry Jones' forced lunacy and some really awful CGI illustrating his points made for an utterly rubbish programme which probably only succeeded in putting people off being curious about maths in the future.

And if I see another bouncing cone this year I think I might scream.

2005-09-20T15:47:00.000+01:00

Canadian travel journal to appear here soon!

2005-07-26T11:23:00.000+01:00

Banana hammock

Feeling really sick this morning. Don’t know why. I hardly slept last night even though I was dog tired so maybe that has something to do with it. Think I’ll stick the air-con on and see if it helps. At this rate I’m going to have to give badminton a miss, and the meal that we’ve got planned after it.

I’ve been feeling a little depressed the last couple of days as well and I can’t place my finger on why that would be. Just got myself a general angsty feeling.

I said a lot of things on Saturday night that I know I probably shouldn’t have said but in a way I was relieved that I could get it off my chest. It’s the first time I’ve ever spoken to anyone about my relationship with Graham because I’ve never felt I could talk about what I needed to talk about with anyone who knows us as a couple.

It’s strange being at work totally on my own – the day actually seems to go quicker than normal. Not got a lot of work to do as usual and so it’s hard to motivate myself to do anything but the Spaced-Out crew have kept me entertained. It’s so difficult to resist the urge to get on the net and chat to people when you’re stuck in a place that you don’t want to be with nobody real to talk to.

Good things that have happened recently – went to the British Grand Prix and had a fab time. We stayed the night in the carpark and grabbed our seats by 5.30 a.m. so we had a good view of the track on Luffield corner. We were entertained by a GP2 race, a Porsche race and the Red Arrows before the proper race action kicked off. Button didn’t get anywhere close to winning but it was good to see him come a solid fourth and Kimi and Montoya, my second favourites, were up on the podium. I definitely want to go to another race. In fact, we are going to the A1 Grand Prix at the end of September – not quite the same but close enough and the racing should be closer since they are all driving the same cars.

Graham and I celebrated our fourth anniversary and 12 months since AOR – so we’ve only got another 6 months to go until we expect to hear something from the Canadian High Commission about our application.

Matt and Sharon’s wedding at the beginning of July was brilliant. It was such a nice day and I was very proud of them both. I spent a lot of time chatting to Becky and Pete who I have never really gotten to know properly before even though we’ve been on different sides of the same circle of friends for years now. Everybody looked fabulous and apart from a few mishaps with some of Sharon’s family I think it was a really happy day for everybody. They haven’t had the time to settle properly into married life yet as they have had Sharon’s Canadian relatives staying with them since the wedding - but now they’ve all gone back I hope they can appreciate the quiet times together! They bought an Xbox with the money I gave them for their wedding present, so they are well chuffed!

I just heard that Amber and Paul got married early in July as well, and Caz and Mark are getting married next month (I’ve been invited to the evening do). I think Tim was supposed to be getting married this summer as well – I’ll have to email him to find out what is happening there. Cousin Paul and Tracey also got married in Australia the other week – they make such a great couple and I’m so pleased that they decided to bring the wedding forward so that Auntie Maureen could be there to enjoy it.

Ashton Court festival was good this year. Graham and I went on the Sunday and were joined by Matt and Sharon and Sharon’s Canadian nephew Chris. It was sunny and the music was good and a chilled-out time was had by all – I finally managed to see Rob’s band The Mighty Stars play for the first time since 2001! And yes, they have improved, a lot. Highlights of the day though were bands called Think and Babyhead so I’m going to try and check out their CDs if they are available.

I’ve made a couple of new friends – we organised a Bristol meet on the Spaced-Out board. Went out for a drink and film and meal with James and Helen a couple of weeks ago, joined by Kerrianne and Tristan, and this last weekend Helen, James and his fiancée Jenny came round to my place for another meet and we all got on really well. They arrived at 9pm and didn’t leave until 3.30 a.m. I was more hungover and tired than Graham was when he got back from Cardiff the next morning having spent the entire day on a pub-crawl with his workmates!

I’ve joined the gym at uni. Not that I’ve actually gone to the gym gym yet. I was paying £4 a week to go to Tuesday night Staff and Postgrad badminton and then found out that staff gym membership was only £12 a month – which included access into the sports hall for badminton, the gym and the swimming pool. Last week I ended up playing badminton on three nights, and I’ve even managed to drag Graham into it. We played last Thursday with Kerrianne and then went out for dinner and drinks with her and Tristan, and this week Tristan is going to be joining in the badminton as well.

I’m not very good at badminton anymore though unfortunately. I think I really do need glasses. Sometimes I just miss the shuttlecock completely for no good reason, and I think it must be to do with my eyes not judging distance very well because only my good eye is working properly.

Bad things that have happened recently: Well, the London bombings, the loss of 52 lives, the fear of more attacks, the shooting of an innocent man by police, the constant suicide bombings in Iraq, the bombings in Turkey and Egypt. It’s a scary world we’re living in at the moment and everybody is talking about it ALL the time.

On the same day as the first London bombings we also found out that our house sale had fallen through. Our buyers’ buyers had pulled out, just a week or two before we were expecting to move out. It’s no great hardship but a little disappointing and means that we will have to take out a loan to pay the last deposit instalment for our Vancouver apartment and to pay my folks back. Hopefully we can sell the flat pretty soon though as although we don’t want to move out as we love it there, we need to have sold it by the time we get our visas sorted for Canada – so that we can move straight away and have all the money we need readily available to transfer into Canadian funds.

In 4 weeks time we’ll be in Canada, gawping at the scenery around Jasper. Lovely.
And you never know, we might be able to catch a Canucks game this time round as the NHL has stopped the lockout so the hockey season is back on. Woot Woot!

2005-06-14T13:07:00.000+01:00

Hey look! Over here! It's me!

Another month gone without writing this: I must be the goddess of procrastination after all. The paperwork is still going through in regards to our house sale. It’s annoying as we keep looking at flats to rent, but the ones we like go to someone else since we are not able to tell the letting agent “Yes! We want this one!” until we have got an exchange date. There is one that we like available still in Sneyd Park – it’s literally a 3 minute walk down the road from our current flat – fingers crossed it stays unlet for a little while longer.

My Nan’s operation went really well. She was out of hospital in no time and she has now been given the all-clear. She’s obviously still very sore, and annoyed that she can’t do all the things that she wants to do yet, but her spirits are high generally. Dad’s hernia operation also went well and he has been recovering quickly. He and Mum should be in France by now – they left this morning to go and stay with Dad’s cousin Brian in their apartment in Fresjus – or at least I think that is where they are!

Had quite a nice birthday after I’d stopped worrying about my Nan’s op. On the Friday Graham and I went down to Cornwall, back to Boscastle where we went for my birthday last year. The devastation that the flood caused last summer was still evident, though you could see that they’d worked really hard to get things rebuilt and reopened. The café where we ate lunch the first time we were there was just a shell being worked on by builders – it was right next to the river.

While we were there, The Welly pub reopened – it looked a lot better than it used to as they’d made it more open and a lot brighter. We were there on opening night for a couple of drinks and a nosey around, then went across the road to the Cobweb for dinner. We took the last table and so I invited the next couple that came in to share our table with us. They were from somewhere up north and we stayed with them most of the evening, as after dinner they insisted on buying us a drink downstairs in the pub. And another. And there was a good band playing so we couldn’t leave. When we did leave, rather worse for wear, we walked past the Welly and I could hear singing – the villagers were all singing Cornish songs and I couldn’t not go back in for another pint! Graham got fed lots of flapjacks and we generally just joined in with the locals – it was a special atmosphere that night.

We also fitted in a trip to St Ives that weekend which I was really chuffed about as it was a lovely place. Had it not been such a wet weekend we would have stayed there a lot longer, but we got in the car and travelled around instead – visiting that place beginning with M opposite St Michaels Mount and Lands End (which was rather underwhelming).

Graham bought me British Grand Prix tickets for my birthday (and champagne and Star Wars tickets, and a meal which I haven’t had yet) – so YAY, I’m actually going to see a Grand Prix in a few weekend’s time! Hope Button gets some points before then though…

More to follow this afternoon hopefully (unless I suddenly get busy – HA!)
And I really must get round to transferring my written Paris diary to this blog!

2005-05-11T14:34:00.000+01:00

Just a quickie

Graham and I have had a great week in Paris - the hotel was good, the Marias and Latin Quarter were particularly lovely areas, and we walked and metroed all over the city, so much so that we were completely exhausted by the time we got back.

We have both had really heavy colds. I've had mine for 10 days now and there is no sign of it getting any better, if anything it seems to be getting worse. I'm fed up of having glue ear and blowing my nose every few minutes.

We have sold the flat! Almost. We accepted an offer for £181,500 (1000 under our asking price) and we are the end of a chain of 3. Everybody wants to move as quickly as possible so it's now down to the lawyers to progress things quickly and for us to find somewhere decent to rent!

And the bad news is that my nan has found out she has breast cancer and has to have a masectomy. Fortunately they are able to do the operation very quickly - next week on my birthday. It isn't invasive cancer, and my nan's friend went through the same thing a few years ago and is now living a happy life so that has helped her remain positive about it all.

2005-04-14T14:23:00.000+01:00

Busy?

I've been quite busy today. Well, busy as far as working in this library gets! I'd saved up a bit of work for today, and because Kerrianne is away I get some of her work too as well as sole responsibility for the issue desk and there are plenty of students around as they have exams on Saturday.

Yesterday and the day before I was in a really happy hyper mood. I've calmed down now, which is a bit of a shame as it was fun, but I'm feeling nice and mellow at the moment.

I'd been spending far too much time on the Spaced-Out forum and tried to wean myself off it this last week. I went on there for a bit yesterday and realised that I'd been too successful in my attempt to no longer be addicted to posting on there - I felt a bit out of the loop and like no one had really missed me, so I think I'll just lurk there a bit more occasionally now. That is until I get really bored at work again and need the stimiulation.

Yesterday I spent my time learning a bit about religion. It turns out that I am a pantheist, rather than an atheist, which pleases me as I've always felt quite spiritual but not at all religious. Quite independently of finding out that, I looked into most major religions to decide which one actually most appeals to me and which I would choose if forced - and taoism came out top. Thankfully taoism and pantheism go pretty much hand in hand, so that's lucky isn't it?

Mum and Dad are in Lanzarote now for 2 weeks. Mum phoned the other night and they like the place, so they are going to have a much better holiday than their last cheapy holiday in the sun in Minorca when they were surrounded by lots of horrible people.

I was thinking through what I've got planned for the next few months and I really have very few weekends free - it's great as it will make the time go quickly and before I know it we will be hearing about Canada!

this weekend I am working, next weekend we are going to see G's gran and grandpa in seaton, the following weekend we're going to Paris for a week. The weekend after we get back I'm working again, then it's my birthday long weekend in Cornwall, then the bank holiday, then Matt and Sharon's stag/hen party, then nothing for 3 weeks but am currently in the process of arranging a long weekend holiday with Alex, Clare and Chisler and also a weekend up north to see Ade and Sheila. In July there's Matt's wedding, hopefully the British GP, and Jools Holland at Westonbirt Arboretum with a weekend in Cheltenham. In August we've got our photograph session, and a big family party, then off to Canada for 3 weeks!

If we're lucky enough to sell the house, I'm not sure when we're going to find the time to actually move out!

2005-04-06T11:08:00.000+01:00

A piccie from our brain party last week

2005-03-31T13:19:00.000+01:00

Brain drain

Tonight Kerrianne’s brain debuts on ITV1 West at 7.30 p.m. As it was her birthday yesterday we are throwing a brain party in her honour. We are all going to sit and watch it with a glass of vino and eat cauliflower cheese and jelly.

Actually I am going to eat dinner beforehand. I don’t think I could watch brain surgery and eat brain food at the same time.

I woke up very grumpy today. I’m getting better as the day goes on. I screamed at the scales this morning when they told me that I had put on 5lbs in 2 days. I didn’t think that was possible, especially since the last 2 days I haven’t been eating awfully at all. I guess chocolate really doesn’t agree with me. Graham was laughing as I cursed at the scales, telling them they were lying, but probably only in relief that he wasn’t the only one putting weight on.

I really don’t know how I’m going to lose all this weight I put on since meeting Graham. On looking at my food diary the last month it is clear that the problem lies in the fact that we are just too damn social. When I cook for myself at home everything is fine, I stick to my 1400 calories a day which should see the weight slowly dropping off. But we like going out to eat and that’s the problem – I can’t control what goes in my food, and even if I think I’m making sensible choices they’re normally not. Going out for drinks is a problem too. If only more places sold diet lemonade, or sugar free Red Bull as well as diet coke then it wouldn’t be so much hassle.

Gah. Indeed.

I’ve told Graham that I don’t want to go out for dinner in April after this weekend – see if it helps any before we go off to Paris. Lets see if that plan works, but I somehow think it is going to be a tough one to keep to, especially as we have just bought a voucher book that gives us discounts at loads of nice Bristol restaurants – the offers last till November/December so we don’t have to use them all at once, but it’s damned tempting. I guess I’m just going to have to be strong on this one. Make sure that Graham has access to lots of takeaways whilst I cook for myself. Maybe go out for drinks after dinner rather than going out for drinks and dinner…

Speaking of food I must just record the fantastic meal I had when we went out to lunch for my dad’s birthday at The Daffodil. The crispy duck warm salad starter was nice enough but nothing to write home about but the main. Oh. My. God. That was bloody delicious. A medium-rare chargrilled rump steak served with peppercorn sauce and a chorizo and spinach potato cake, with a side portion of broccoli perfectly cooked with fennel and toasted almonds. I never knew cows could taste so good! I haven’t had steak in a restaurant for about 4 years but that meal has certainly opened my eyes.

You see? You see how hard it is going to be for me to go without restaurant food for a whole month?!
By the way, Lord of the Rings trilogy day went very well. I only fell asleep for a couple of minutes during the second one, and it was all good fun. Enjoyed the films as a complete story rather than stopping mid-story, so it was definitely a wise choice of mine and Graham’s not to watch them all as single entities in the cinema.

2005-03-22T15:00:00.000Z

It's Oh So Quiet...(again)

Do you really like it, is it is it wicked? I’m lovin it lovin it lovin it, I’m lovin it like that.

It’s the second day of the easter holidays. This holiday is always quieter than any other holiday. We ran out of things to do at about 11am yesterday, but I won’t be bored cos I’m getting used to it now.

To give you a picture of just how quiet it is, I’ve only issued 3 books today, and returned 6. I put an author declaration into a thesis. I relabelled a book. I chatted to one of our visiting professors and I put a book into another professor’s pigeon hole. Oh and I filled the printer and photocopiers up with paper.

Other than that I have been on the Internet and chatting to Sue and arranging our night out tonight with Kerrianne. Sue is now on a training course and I’m worried that my huge Internet usage is going to get me into trouble with someone up on high. So I’m writing this as a Word document and I’ll publish it on the web later on. Afterwards I’m going to read my new Murukami book for a bit – The Elephant Vanishes.

Somehow, even with it being so quiet I managed to miss our usual thief yesterday. I’m so annoyed with myself. If I’d seen him come in then I would have chucked him straight out and one of our postgrads wouldn’t have had his phone stolen. Ho hum.

There has been a load of schoolkids in the building today here for some chemistry fair. I forgot just how noisy they can be. I’m glad I don’t have to keep them under control all the time. I really do feel sorry for Ed and all the rest of my teacher friends.
Well at least it’s Easter this weekend, so 2 weeks off for them. Hopefully Ed will come round to ours for dinner sometime as I haven’t had the chance to have a proper chinwag with him for ages, and it’s been even longer since Graham saw him.

Tonight we are going out for dinner and drinks. Kerrianne, Sue and I will eat either at Ask or at some pub, then we’ll go down to The Robin Hood and meet up with Tristan, Kate, Rich and a couple of others, and hopefully Graham will make it too as I’d like for him to be on my quiz team.

On Thursday night we are going to Cheltenham to see my dad for his birthday. He doesn’t know I’m coming so hopefully it will be a nice surprise for him. We’re going out for lunch on Friday with him to the Daffodil, so looking forward to that, and then Graham and I will go and see Alex for a few hours. Later on we’re meeting up with Matt and co for some drinks, and Moz and Fix are back from Germany for the weekend so they’ll be coming along too. Hopefully she will be a little less grumpy than last time we saw her.

On Saturday we’re coming back to Bristol to spend the day with Ade and Annette and the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Since they’re all extended editions we’re either not going to make it through all of them or we’ll be leaving Nailsea at about midnight. Not got anything planned on Sunday though so it’s OK if we have a late one. Graham is on call all this week and weekend unfortunately, so no doubt as soon as Monday comes around we’ll be off somewhere for him to have a few well deserved drinks.

I’ve just spent lots of money in The Guild on Easter pressies. Mum and Dad have done the best out of it but they deserve it as they have been really generous this year with money for my Christmas and birthday presents – they’ve paid a fair whack towards my holidays to Paris and Canada which has really helped!

Right then, looks like Murukami is beckoning me…

2005-03-17T11:44:00.000Z

Queen of the mucus

One week after recovering from my last cold I caught another, worse one. This time I was off work for 3 and a half days and the weekend was a write-off - I had shivers and aches and all sorts, very flu-like but not actual flu. At the moment I still have a horrible chesty cough and the amount of snot that keeps building up in my nose is unbelievable! I'm not quite sure why I keep getting these colds as I normally manage to miss out on them.

I'm not a very good ill person. I get bored quickly and want to be normal again and so I get depressed. It made me feel very sorry for Graham having to be off work for 4 weeks.

Feeling a bit better about work again at the moment - not getting too stressed out at the naughty students. I've warned a couple of them that they are on our offenders list and that if things carry on or get worse they will be reported to the department, and they were actually quite grateful that I had let them know that.

Looking forward to the Easter break next week - a 4 day week followed by a 3 day week. On the Thursday night we are going down to Cheltenham for my dad's birthday as a surprise. We'll go out for lunch with him and I want to spend some time with Alex. I may also get around to seeing Matt and Moz but it depends on how long we stay - if we go back Friday evening then there's no chance. On Saturday we are going to Ade's girlfriend Annette's house in Nailsea. She has invited us all round for a Lord of the Rings day - we will be watching all three films and eating lots of junk I imagine!

Haven't got anything planned for the rest of the Easter weekend but we may go out somewhere on the Monday - see if we can find some ferrari racing or something somewhere.

Next Tuesday Kerrianne, Sue and I are going out to dinner to celebrate their birthdays early and then afterwards we're hoping to go along to the pub quiz at the Robin Hood on St Michaels Hill. Then the following Wednesday we are going out for Kerrianne's proper birthday to another pub on St Michael's Hill for another quiz. Better watch that, might start becoming a habit.

2005-03-07T17:13:00.000Z

Curry madness

Went out with all Graham's friends at the weekend - was good to see everyone together again for the first time in ages. We went to our usual Indian, sorry Pakistani, restaurant for Graham and Hing's belated birthday and found that Naz is working there again. He disappeared many months ago and there didn't seem to be a good reason, so it was nice to see him again, even though he's got more excited than ever. He chatted non-stop for about half an hour at the end of our meal and has decided that he will try and sell our flat since it is in The Bristol Magazine that they have a few copies of in the restaurant.

The sneaky bugger caught me out with his curry sales pitch and I ended up eating a popadom and a starter in addition to the main meal and he also made me order a pint of cobra even though I just wanted water. Bang went my diet for the evening. Just as well I'd had hardly anything to eat all day before that.

We stayed up to watch the Australian GP - the first GP of the year. Unfortunately the race itself was a bit on the boring side as there was not much racing action/ overtaking/ crashing etc. But the result was interesting - Fisi won, Alonso third so a great start for Renault. Barichello got some points for ferrari with the old car, so I hope the new car they bring out isn't twice as good otherwise it will be a runaway season again. Schumacher was never really in it and crashed out before the end - all his fault but of course he blamed someone else, and also really angered us all by putting stewards' life in danger just to give him a push out of the gravel trap so he could go back to the garage. McLaren did Okish and showed they had a competitive package, Williams also. BAR were pretty dire, so were Toyota and Sauber. But the biggest surprise was that Red Bull racing did really well and Coulthard was very unlucky not to get a podium finish.

We opened Graham's 3o year old port on Saturday night and it was loverly. Not quite what we expected - it was actually lighter in colour than usual, with a less sweet, more alcoholic taste.

Rang mum just to say happy mother's day and she told me that they hadn't gone out for a meal as planned as dad had been really ill. He's OK now apparently, but a bit worn out and depressed bless him. Hope he's feeling better by the end of the week as we're off to Colleys for one of their huge posh meals (another night the diet is going out the window, but I have been very strict with myself otherwise). It's his birthday in a couple of weeks too.

Maureen emailed from Oz at the weekend - Lorraine is doing very well with the new baby, finding it a lot easier this time around. When she had Zoe she was suffering from bad hormonal rash for months as well as trying to cope with first-time baby, but she's not ill this time and a baby pro! Poor Maureen is in the wars - a muscle in her back has been torn again and if the pain and disibility doesn't go away she might have to interfere with her cancer treatment to sort it out.

Work's been OK today. I haven't been bored once. Just the right balance between enough things to do and a bit of free time to surf the internet. I do want to go home now though cos I is hungry!
I decided not to bother applying to Costco as I think it's going to be extremely hard trying to explain why I would suddenly want to move from library work to big retail work without giving away the fact that I'm trying to move to Vancouver. Also I figured it'd be too much hassle getting there on the buses and I didn't fancy having to do weekend shifts.

2005-03-01T11:50:00.000Z

I don’t like it

Not a good March so far and we’re only 10 hours into it. I hardly slept a wink last night, and when I did doze off I kept dreaming about food and waking up. Not that I was hungry at all so I don’t know why that was happening. This morning I was all dressed and ready to leave the house, with 9 minutes to get to the bus stop before the bus was due (it is an 8 minute walk) when my bra broke and the underwire stabbed me in a very painful place. I then had to remove all my layers and find a new bra to wear and then put all my layers back on again, so obviously by that time I was not going to catch the 8 O’clock bus. Nay mind, I said to myself, I’ll get the 8.15 bus instead and I’ll still be at work on time. But the 8.15 bus didn’t come, and nor did the 8.30 and in a repeat of my Wednesday last week I waited at the bus stop for 40 minutes until one did arrive and thus got to work 25 minutes late. Bah. And I twisted my ankle slightly running up the steps to work. And it’s raining, which I wouldn’t mind so much if it had snowed properly when they had forecast it.

I’m not in the best of moods. You might have guessed that already.

2005-02-28T16:31:00.000Z

Oh! Inverted World

The lyrics to a particular Shins song keep going through my head today. I can’t complain really as they’re good lyrics and it’s a good tune, but it worries me how much I have a one-track mind.

“unknown quotients, you must be using potions how else could you tie my head to the sky this new convection has left me wondering why I can't concern myself with ordinary tripe. like what's this morning's paper got to say and which brand of coffee to make this is no umbrella to take into the wind and before we begin is there nothing to kill this anxiety.”

For the past couple of weeks or so some students at work have been really getting on my nerves. They just won’t shut up, and insist on eating and drinking and making a mess. They act like school kids half of them and I think it’s about time they grew up. We’ve been getting all strict with them, confiscating food and drink, making them turn their phones off mid conversation, having a go at them if they rush out of the library shouting “Hello? Yeah I’m in the library!” (so Dom Joly but they really do do it) and when it all came to a head last Friday and I got fed up of their cheekiness I started taking names for my new offenders list.

It’s just so annoying that we have to do all this in the first place. We used to like having a relaxed attitude towards our students, it helped having a friendly relationship with them, but more and more I’ve just got so wound up with them, and it makes me hate my job even more. I’m not in it for the stress.

There’s a Costco wholesale supermarket opening up in Avonmouth in May and I’m seriously tempted to go for a job there. I don’t know why I keep talking about it rather than just sending in my CV – I think I’m scared of big change coming before the BIG change of country, but I do nothing but moan about my current job so I should just shut up or start seriously looking. Costco has got a really good rep in US and Canada, they’re a good company to work for – they look out for their employees and their staff are known to be very professional and knowledgeable, but the main reason why I am considering this is because our apartment in Vancouver is being built over a Costco, and if I get myself a job with Costco here then it should be fairly easy to walk straight into a job over there. And let’s face it, a job is not going to be easy to get in Vancouver when we first get there, and I need to start earning money as soon as possible.

I bought the Garden State DVD off ebay last week and was really gutted to find that none of the special features were working. Graham thought I was stupid asking if I could send it back and get a refund or replacement, but it was advertised as new and sealed and with a film like Garden State that I’m really really into, the special features are sometimes more important than the film itself. I mean I want to hear the director’s commentary, and see all the deleted scenes and bloopers, because as well as loving the film, I really love Zach Braff! Anyway, I’ve been told I can send it back and get a full refund so that’s what I’ll be doing. The film is coming out on Region 2 in May so I think I’m just going to wait till then, to avoid a repeat of what has just happened.

Had a fairly nice weekend. Went out to Hullabaloos on Friday for their 2 courses for £7 before 7pm and it was surprisingly good although we ended up spending £12 each and that was without wine as it was BYO. We also went out to dinner on Saturday with less success – Henry J Bean’s were doing an offer whereby you buy 2 main meals and get a free bottle of pinot grigio. The wine was very nice but unfortunately the food was on the greasy side and Graham’s was well overdone as well. We didn’t feel much like drinking after that and only made one pint before going home to watch Comic Aid. Which probably was for the best as I really enjoyed the show and got to see my second second boyfriend Simon Pegg (my first second boyfriend being Zach Braff).

My first boyfriend (the real one, rather than the imaginary one) is a bit down in the dumps at the moment. His plans for his birthday party on Saturday have gone pretty much down the pan. All he wanted was a relaxed afternoon with all his friends before going out for a nice meal. First of all his brother said he was going to Hereford to see their mum so would be late, then Jon split up with Stef, and now Hing Yu reckons he needs to make up numbers so is intending on inviting some of his friends that no one else knows. So Graham has got all grumpy and decided not to bother inviting everyone round to the house first and just to go for a bog standard meal in town instead.

He is also very depressed about work right now. He can’t stand working with Keith day in day out and sooner or later he’s going to snap. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was in a new job by the end of the year but it seems a great shame for him to have to leave because of someone else’s incompetence. Especially as he was hoping to get a career break to go to Canada, and no new company is going to allow him to do that.

2005-02-07T14:59:00.000Z

...and in conclusion the point is that there is no point...

It's been so long that I've posted on here that I forgot what my password was for a moment. A few failed attempts later and here I am...

Maybe I was right to have a sense of doom about January - Graham almost didn't make his 30th birthday. We went out with a few of his mates from work to celebrate Kirsty's birthday and because her usual Wetherspoons haunt was closed for redecoration we went to Lloyds number 1 down by the docks instead. We had a fairly fun night getting stupidly drunk then went on to a club for a little bit and it was when we left there that it all happened. I was still in the club getting my coat from the cloakroom and the rest were outside waiting for me. When I got out I was told that Graham and Rich had fallen in the water and hadn't yet come up for air.

It turned out he was sitting on the railings at the edge of the dock, and Rich, who he'd been messing around with playfighting earlier, came up behind him and yanked him jokingly. Graham lost his balance and tumbled into the water, taking Rich with him and cracking his head on the wall on the way down. Graham still doesn' t remember anything about the incident, just that one minute he was sat on the railings, the next he was wondering why he was breathing water and not knowing which way was up. We think he must have knocked himself out with the fall but the coldness of the water revived him thankfully.

After a lot of screaming and tears on my part and panic on Graham's part, Graham and Rich eventually emerged from the water and managed to find a ladder to climb back up. Then we took them to A&E to see whether they needed some jabs because of the dirty water and the doctors had a look at Graham's head but discharged him with a head injuries leaflet and a warning not to be left alone for 48 hours.

Unfortunately I was still absolutely blind drunk, and in my confused state I lost Graham whilst trying to find a "quicker" way home than the taxi he'd ordered. By the time I got back to where he was sitting he had long gone. But again in my confused state I didn't know whether he had got a taxi home or whether he was walking around Bristol concussed and not knowing where he was. I walked around for a bit trying to ring him on his mobile (which wasn't working as it drowned in the accident) and at home (which he wasn't answering because he couldn't hear it). I got myself all worked up and worried, realised I was very near work, so let myself in to the chemistry library as I didn't want to get a taxi on my own (I have always had a fear of that) and it wasn't safe for me to be wandering around on my own whilst so drunk. I eventually managed to get through to Graham at home, slept a couple of hours in the library until it started to get light and then made my way home.

It goes without saying that I was immensely repentent that I was so drunk that I couldn't look after my boyfriend properly when he most needed me and I will always remember the feeling of having failed him. I made up for it as best I could over the next few days. I didn't leave his side on Sunday, took the day off work to be with him on Monday, and the afternoon off to be with him on Tuesday and sent my parents to look after him on the Wednesday.

We went back to the hospital on Monday to tell them that his head had got no better but they didn't seem too concerned, just gave him some strong painkillers and told him to come back if he vomited as that may show some internal injuries. On the Tuesday he sent me to work but then rang me late morning to tell me "don't worry, but I've just been sick, and Rich was sent home from work yesterday with flu-like symptoms and they think he might have contracted Weil's disease from the dirty water." Don't worry?! Yes, OK Graham, I won't worry but get yourself down here now, and we'll get you back to the hospital sharpish. Another long wait in A&E and another doctor doing the same tests over again. Because Graham was sick they decided (finally!) to give his head a scan to check for any lasting injuries, but didn't expect to find anything. One head scan later and a sheepish looking doctor confirms what we thought all along - Graham had broken one of the little bones in the back of his head. Not that there was anything they could do to help heal it, but it was a relief to know that there was a good reason for his head not feeling any better, and that the reason wasn't due to internal bleeding or something as dangerous as that.

Graham has been off work ever since with fractured skull, concussion, whiplash and shock. This week is the start of his fourth week not at work. He's starting to feel better in himself now, and he took his first drive on Sunday but is still feeling really tired all the time and his head won't stop hurting even though it's less intense now. He's going to try and do two afternoons at work at the end of this week so he can guage whether or not he should attempt to go back full time next week. He needs to go back, he is so bored stuck at home and really irritated at still being ill. He was also really depressed that he couldn't celebrate his 30th birthday like he wanted to, but at least he got there - and we'll make up for it when he's better. He was really chuffed with his presents though - the trip to Paris and his vintage port and grand prix programme. And the special cake I had made using a caricature of him driving a McLaren - his face was a picture, I don't think I've seen him grin like that in a long time!

Hell it has been an emotional time for both of us though. We've both been prone to the odd outburst of tears over the last few weeks. We both know he is lucky to have got away with the injuries he did sustain. I mean, just the head injury is a risk enough - you hear of so many people who are out drinking and fall over, hit their head and never wake up - but with the water as well, there's no doubt about it he was so fortunate not to have drowned.

What else happened in January? Ah yes, Adrian found that he could lose his job but he won't know for sure until April, so he and Sheila had to call off their holiday with us. Graham and I will be going on our own in August. There was other bad news too, so I'm glad that month is over with and looking forward to some good news in February! Lorraine is due to have her baby anytime now so cross fingers that that all goes OK. Oh, and Paul proposed to Tracey in New Zealand so that was more good news from the antipodes!

2005-01-07T13:14:00.000Z

New year, new bleurgh

Well Christmas was really great - I had a fantastic time and ate and drank and socialised like there was no tomorrow. I bought some nice clothes in the xmas sales which make me feel a little more smartly dressed than usual. Graham and I went out for drinks and food quite a bit and for once I had enough money not to worry about having enough money to do things.

However, my general mood since 27th December has been pretty grim. The tsunami has really effected me in so much as I just walk around in a vague depression all the time. Graham's granddad also died that day so that was another downer. There seems to be no good news at the moment apart from how charitable everyone is being - it just seems to be mass death, murder, paranoia and destruction in the papers at the moment and it just makes me SIGH all the time.

Coming back to work was a shocker this week - I just can't handle the boredom any more and it is starting to make me angry now as well as apathetic. I think I might have to find myself a new job after all before we move to Canada.

I have much to look forward to in 2005 - Graham's 30th birthday and accompanying holiday, Dad's 65th, my birthday break, holiday to Canada in the summer, our Canadian application's anniversary, trips to Devon and Cornwall planned (in my head anyway) , good films and theatre events, but I can't shake the feeling of doom I've got enough to enjoy planning for any of it.

Sigh. I still can't quite get my head around the scale of death, destruction and grief caused by that tsunami. I don't expect I ever will. Maybe I shouldn't have to comprehend it, but it's part of my nature to try and understand what all these people are going through, to try and put myself in their situation.

We had a rather sedate New Year. It was nice, just sedate. Just the 4 of us up north burning things on a BBQ and setting fireworks off that made the car alarm across the road go off with every boom, and sent next door's dog absolutely loopy. We jumped around a bit at midnight as you do, but I wasn't feeling drunk or particularly celebratory. I did try though, honest.

Hopefully next time I'm on here I'll be a bit chirpier...

2004-12-20T10:01:00.000Z

Ding dong merrily on high

It's Christmas week already. Four more days of work and then off for 11 days. Ace!

Lots of things have happened since my last post. The depression has lifted for a start! Graham has decided not to be a NERD in the UK as there is no customer base at all at the moment and it's not worth the risk of the money he would have to put into it. Graham's mum has been sworn in as one of the latest magistrates at Hereford magistrates court and we went along to the ceremony and had a big do for her. It was a really great day and we're very proud of her.

Aunt Doll died last week which made us all very sad as she was the last of the old generation. That makes my dad the oldest of the new old generation - a scary thought. Her funeral is today so mum and dad are going to London to attend.

I lost quite a few pounds on two separate "diets" but last week returned to festive excess. The diet I lost the most weight on is too tricky as it involves not combining certain foods and it left me feeling cheated, whereas the other "diet" was more of healthy balanced eating thing than a diet and I always felt full and satisfied as the recipes were lovely and you are allowed certain little indulgences throughout the week. So I am going back on that after the New Year and hopefully should be losing 1-2lbs per week.

We have decided that we can't get enough of Vancouver as we miss it too much so we are planning our next holiday to Canada. This time we are taking Adrian and Sheila with us and we're going for three weeks in July - spending time in Calgary, Banff, Jasper and Vancouver Island as well as Vancouver itself. It should be more than interesting - Adrian has never been on a long holiday before and has different ideas about what he wants from a vacation than Graham - and since we're going to be stuck together on the road for half the holiday things might get a little heated!

Christmas started very early for us this year - Graham had the tree up on the 3rd December and all the presents wrapped underneath it the next day! I have had two work xmas do's already - 1 lunch and 1 dinner but still haven't got really drunk and stupid. On Sunday we had a "xmas day" with Graham's mum, her partner and her partner's daughter and family (4 kids ranging from a few months to 13) - it was all a bit hectic and Crystal was ill but it was a nice day all the same. We have watched two naff christmas films over the last couple of weekends. This week I am keeping clear of festivities until Thursday night when Kerrianne has her party. On Christmas Eve my parents are coming down so we can spend the day together and are staying overnight. Then on Christmas morning they will drive back to Cheltenham, go and see my granddad and spend a few hours at John and Ali's, whereas Graham and I will go and see Graham's brother, drive to Cheltenham and see Alex who otherwise will be spending the day on his own with his cat Nemo. Then we'll all meet up at my parents in the late afternoon to have christmas dinner and open presents.

Ed is back in Bristol this week, so we're going for a bite to eat and to watch Garden State at the Watershed. I am trying to get as many people to see the film as possible as it is wonderful but only on a limited release - so only artsy cinemas like the Watershed are playing it. Hopefully it will get very popular and be released in one of the bigger cinemas like VUE or Showcase. Zach Braff who wrote, directed and starred in it writes his very own blog at http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/gardenstate/blog/ - he's a very funny guy who is refreshingly down-to-earth considering how inflated you might expect his ego to be.

It's 10.30 and we have had just one person come in this morning to return a book. I really wish I didn't work in a library so that I could put the radio on or something!

Looks like we'll be heading oop north for New Year's Eve - it's Graham's choice as we are going to my parents' for Christmas Day. Ade and Sheila invited us up if we aren't going abroad - which looks very likely since the last minute bargain offers don't appear to be much of a bargain. Which reminds me, I'm going to do some holiday hunting now....

Ta ra.

2004-10-29T15:48:00.000+01:00

Depression

God it's bad when it hits.

I was so depressed last night, I couldn't find it in me to raise a smile. Graham couldn't help me out of it so that made it even worse. I don't even know what triggered it. I mean there have been areas of dissatisfaction building up in my life recently but nothing that should have put me over the edge. Well, apart from being on my period, but it doesn't normally make me feel that bad emotionally.

After 3 weeks of being together 24/7 in Canada it's not very nice to be back in Bristol with the really miserable weather and us hardly communicating with each other. We spend so much of our time apart - one or the other of us on the computer, the other somewhere else in the house - or together but not speaking because the TV is on. Last night I tried to get him to just spend some time with me, talking, but he didn't seem to want to talk about anything much. He ended up on the PC for a bit and doing housework, and then we ended up in bed reading together.

I dunno, I just miss the connection we have when we're together on holiday. But that's not the only thing I was depressed about. I think I might be suffering from a bit of SAD this year for the first time. Hope it doesn't last!

Anyway, I feel better today so I'll try and concentrate on the positive.

Hing emailed today to say he is going to be in town for a bit this weekend so we are meeting up with him and Jon this evening for drinkies and food. Graham is on call so it won't be a huge night out. Tomorrow Ade and Sheila are down from the North so they're coming round for dinner and drinkies which will be nice. They don't know about our Vancouver flat yet so Graham is hoping to surprise them with it - all they know is that we've got some big news to tell them so they probably think we're getting married or something.

I really would like to try and get into the festive spirit this year so I'm trying to organise some Christmas thingies for us to do - at the moment it looks like we are going to Berkeley Castle on the 10th December for their candlelit open evening complete with christmas trees, choirs, mince pies, mulled wine and possibly an early appearance from Santa. Then on the 16th there is a concert by Shout at St Georges - a multicultural voice choir doing a candlelit christmas special.

I think we will stay in Bristol for new year - try and get a few people together to go out for a nice meal, maybe even Colleys, and then into town for fireworks and festivities and/or back to our place for champagne and chat. Either that or go to Jongleurs for a night of stand-up comedy and fast dancing. Depends on the budget and who wants to come really.

2004-10-28T16:21:00.000+01:00

There's a storm brewing

It's been a strange old week.

John Peel died and I am sad, even though I didn't listen to his radio show. It just seemed that his was a voice that was everywhere and that it would be around forever. I used to like reading his Radio Times column about his family life - made him feel like a cool grumpy uncle of mine.

It's such a shock for everyone. I do wonder if he ever realised just how much he was admired.

The weather's been stormy - gales and horrible rain, lots of floods. I have managed not to get too soaked yet, but it can't be far off.

I am feeling really achey today and I don't like it. Graham was off with some weird stomach bug flu type thing on Monday but he felt better the next day.

Teachers has started again and they've killed of 3 of the main characters without explaining anything - and everyone's a bit pissed off about it as Kurt was the best character in it.

Met up with Ed yesterday who was back briefly for half term having survived the first 7 weeks o his proper teaching career. I really don't know how they do it - sounds truly awful!

Nobody has come to look at our house yet. It's been 3 weeks now. We are thinking of changing estate agents so that we can put the picture and details in a window that people walk past more often - but deep down we know that it is just the slowing down of the housing market hitting when we least needed it! I think we might make a loss on the place after all.

The day before yesterday I ate Monster Munch that turn your mouth blue - they are special edition Halloween ones. They actually made my mouth more green than blue and I wish I hadn't had them as I worry about all the E numbers!

Graham might have a lead on a job which could possibly see us getting out there on a work visa before our PR is processed - but this is very early days and I don't even know if it will go anywhere. It has given me itchy feet though unfortunately.

Was thinking of going away for the New Year but I think we'll probably just stay in Bristol and save our money for our bigger holidays.

2004-10-22T14:40:00.000+01:00

Creative spark

I need one.

The meeting last night was heated. We are definitely living in the right block. The block down the end have to deal with Mr cowboy developer who has damaged the carpet and paint in their hall, seen to it that 3 flats haven't had heating for the last month, made lots of noise and mess without so much as telling anybody he was going to, and invited the builders in for a smoking session in the communal halls. On top of that they have the teenagers from hell living upstairs, who like to play when mummy's away - as soon as she goes out to work at night they throw parties and invite all their friends over to stay, make loads of noise in the early hours of the morning and play practical jokes on the neighbours which amount to criminal damage.

The guy who was running the meeting (our management company rep) was a pompous incompetent twit and made me really really angry.

Safe to say none of the accused turned up to the meeting, the cowboy developer never asked for a vote on the rental situation because he wasn't there (and because of his actions nobody would ever vote for it anyway, so that's scuppered any slim chance we may have had before).

But never mind. Kept thinking that resident's meeting would be an ideal base for a comedy sketch on Little Britain.

Mum and dad are coming over tonight for dinner. I'm meant to be cooking but I haven't been feeling well today so I might cry sympathy and get a takeaway instead. We're all off to London early in the morning for our Billy Connelly adventure.

This afternoon is going to go really slowly. I'm on my own (again). James from Queens came down earlier to provide 3 hours of cover - he's a newbie. Nice chap, just got back from travelling the globe with his girlfriend - turns out he was in Sydney for Xmas like I was. Why does the world seem so small? Answer - because everybody goes to the same limited places.

Something screwy just happened when I accidentally pressed some keys that I shouldn't have whilst typing this. 2 boxes came up but I couldn't work out how to get rid of them as it was all in Chinese - I had to close my web browser and start all over again (after copying and pasting my little essay of the day of course).

I'm dehydrated. Off to find water. Bye.

2004-10-21T14:02:00.000+01:00

Stop!

Carry on.

Got to go to a meeting tonight with all the residents of the flats (although about half of them are away on holiday). Someone is going to bring up the motion of being allowed to rent out our flats. I will vote for it, but I don't think he's got a chance in hell of convincing most of the others - they like things the way they are. They don't seem to realise that the rule is actually devaluing our property, or they just don't care since they don't plan on selling them in the near future.

Our flat has been on the market for 2 weeks and nobody has shown the slightest interest. I know it is the slowest time of year for selling, but I thought someone might at least be a bit nosy and want to view it.

Need a wee wee. Kerrianne is still at lunch.

At break time I went to go to the loo but there was a huge queue so I went upstairs to see if I could find any others. I'd never been round the chemistry department before, I got lost, eventually found a disabled loo but then couldn't get back as someone had let me through a door that you need a swipe card for and I had forgotten to take mine with me. I had to go and sheepishly ask one of our visiting professors if he wouldn't mind letting me out and eventually got back to the library 15 minutes later. Next time I'll just stick to queuing.

Graham is addicted to ebay. A package arrived for him yesterday - it was a Canucks jersey that he had got really cheap from someone in Canada. It's cool but far too big (those jerseys always are - need some big shoulder pads to hold them up) and he can only really wear it at hockey games. Maybe he can wear it if and when we go and see Cardiff Devils play which I keep meaning to arrange.

2004-10-20T14:51:00.000+01:00

oh dear, I appear to be bored

Sitting here with Sue, she's got nothing to do. I've got things to do but they're hardly urgent and I'd rather write this instead so I will.

Bang bang bang bang bang. One day builders will be able to do their job without making a sound - research into soundproofed tools, that's what we should be investing the government's (sorry, our) money in.

I went to an interview for a job that would have been nice for a bit of variety but it really wasn't important whether or not I got it. I hoped that having no pressure would have made me less nervous but it didn't make it any easier. The questions were pretty tricky and there were a couple of hairy moments when I thought that a good answer (or any answer at all for that matter) was not going to be forthcoming. But I didn't make a complete hash of it. I spoke to quickly and quietly as always but then I work in a library so that didn't matter too much.

I didn't get the job but it didn't surprise me. The internal candidates who I was up against included one who already worked in the serials department opposite the guy I would be job-sharing with and so knew all about the job already, and one who is doing the BSc in Information management and so is therefore very ambitious and needs the experience in the kind of technical work that the job entailed. My reason for wanting the job - just a bit of variety - didn't really stand up against their reasons. The one that already worked in the department got the job - and that's fair enough in my view.

Graham is going to be a nerd. There is a company in Canada called Nerds on Site that he wants to work for - you build up your own IT contracting business under their umbrella. Turns out they have a small base in the UK too and Graham has got in contact with them. He is going to meet a couple of them in a hotel and have a video conference with one of their guys in Canada, see if he can get a little business set up here in England so that when we go to Canada he will have already gone through all the company training and he can just transfer his skills and experience to the Vancouver branch. Which is all great. But the downside is that as he works full time anyway he will have to set up this new nerd business of his in his own time - so evening and weekend work (possibly even as far away as Reading) will be the pattern of things to come and, assuming he is successful, we will probably hardly see each other. And whilst I know it is all for the greater good of our future together, I can't help feeling glum about that. I do miss him when he's not around. Well, I guess that's love for you.

My parents, Graham and I are going to London this weekend to see Billy Connelly - I've not really seen much of his stuff so I'm looking forward to it. We will also visit Aunt Doll in hospital, probably go to one or two museums (or Kew Gardens if it is dry), and go out for lunch with Brian and Maria.

Cheltenham at the weekend was nice. Alex, Clare and I reminisced about old times and Graham rued the fact that he went to the wrong school - all the stuff that happened at ours made it like an ongoing soap opera. It's weird how normal we've all become!

Alex is still rather ill. He is being quite heavily medicated for anxiety - he has a tough time of it being in the same room as other people but he isn't avoiding the situation which is very positive for him. Going out is another matter though - he walked down to the shops with us and was OK but would have freaked if he'd done it on his own and couldn't stay inside the shop. He is working from home in Cheltenham, building a rival to Jake for the Gloucestershire area. Hopefully he will start to feel better soon as he will need to get out and meet and greet people at the events he is organising.

2004-10-15T16:35:00.000+01:00

TFI Friday

I've been feeling really strange all week - kind of pumped up for something but I don't know what. It was at its worst yesterday when I felt like running around screaming but at the same time like I wanted to go to sleep.

Mum and dad are back from their holiday hell where they had to share accommodation with 600 Wayne and Waynetta slob families.

Our flat is on the market but no one has wanted to view it yet :o(

I have joined a forum where I can talk about crap with people who love Spaced as much as I do. I have also got Kerrianne addicted to the programme - eyyyyy!

Had a very busy weekend when all the kids came down from Cheltenham. Moz and Fix, Matt and Sharon, and Cazz and Russ all stayed over and we went to the pub, and went drunken shopping then cooked 8 meals and stayed up late and got drunk and played computer games and then in the morning I felt rough as hell but had to cook breakfast for everybody. Then they all went home and Graham and I tidied the flat once again (needs to be in show house condition ya know!) before Matt and Alex came back muddy from their bike ride and had showers and I cooked dinner again.

Graham has fallen out with his dad about Canada - big :o(

I am going home now - yay. Off to Cheltenham tomorrow to see Al and Clare. Al is really ill but drugs are making him better, I shall write more on that some other time as Kerrianne is waiting for me to go to the pub.

Peace out

2004-10-06T15:43:00.000+01:00

Choices

Today's major choice was whether to get into work on time thoroughly drenched with no hope of drying off for an hour and a half because no one else was going to come to work until 10, or to wait for the bus and risk being late but turn up fairly dry. I chose the second but I'm still not sure whether that was right. The bus driver apparently failed to realise that in order to get to our destination he would have to put his foot on the accelerator for more than one second at a time and not follow it straight away with a foot on the brake. To be fair to him there was a lot of traffic in his way. I ended up being quarter of an hour late, still fairly wet with a line of students outside the door waiting for me to open up. Still, if I'd have chosen the walking/getting drenched option I probably would have had to take 2 days off next week getting over a nasty cold.

I can now talk about the thing that I previously couldn't talk about!

We are buying a property in Vancouver!!

House prices have gone up so much in the 18 months since we were last there that we decided we had to do something sooner rather than later. If we'd have left it until we get our visas in 2-3 years time then we would be priced out of the areas that we want to live in, and that would have drastically effected the decision on whether to risk going over to live. We decided to invest in a new build so that we would only have to pay the deposit and then nothing until completion. We researched the areas all around with some relocation people and real estate agents (who were all fabulous and so friendly and helpful) and eventually settled for a Concord Pacific development (great track record in Vancouver and beyond) called Spectrum, due for completion in summer of 2007 (by which time, all being well we should have our visas and be living in the city).

Check it out - http://www.myspectrum.ca

It is in a fantastic convenient location right downtown next to the hockey stadium - everything we could ever want is on our doorstep. It also has the added advantage of 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, which means that it will be easy for visitors to come and stay with us. It also means that should the unbearable happen and we don't get granted visas, or we have to start off living in another part of Canada because of work, it should be easy to rent out for more money than we will be paying for the mortgage.

We know it is a bit of a risk, but overall we can't see it being more than a wise investment. With property prices going silly over there, but stabilising and possibly crashing over here, our money is safer invested in Canada. If it all goes wrong and we can't live there and we can't find anyone to rent it out to then we should be able to sell it fairly easily.

We have to sell our place in Bristol in order to get most of the deposit so we have had estate agents around this week to value it, and we will decide on one tonight and get the flat on the market by this weekend. It's a bit gutting to be selling after just one year as we love it where we are but we have no choice. Hopefully we will be able to rent in the same area. The two valuations we have had could not be more different - one suggested we sell it for a price that is £10000 less than what we bought it for if we want a quick sale, £5000 less if we want to sell it in average time. The other reckons we should easily sell it before Christmas for £5000 more than we bought it for. It's very confusing, but we do know that a similar property in our building was sold recently for £7500 less than we bought ours for, but we think it was in need of modernisation.

Holy moly.

I am rather peed off today as I have been told that because I have been contributing to my pension for more than 2 years I cannot cash it in to start up a savings account for Canada. That's 3000 smackeroonies down the drain. I may be able to transfer it when I start working in Canada, otherwise they will keep it frozen until my retirement in - my god - 40 years time!!!

Bstards. If I'd have known that I would never have started paying into the damn thing. I've told them I want to stop my payments as from NOW but they haven't answered me yet...

2004-10-01T17:28:00.000+01:00

I can't believe I have just wasted 45 minutes writing this thing only for it to crash when I tried to load it up and all of it has disappeared.

Bah.

Fiddlesticks.

Bloody good for nothing technology.

2004-09-30T16:18:00.000+01:00

Back

and thoroughly depressed about it!

I have some big Canada related news but I can't write about it yet as Graham hasn't told his mum yet and she might read this! Frustrating!!

Had such a great holiday. Banff was perfectly beautiful. Kimberley was awfully kitsch. Nelson was a bit of a disappointment. Penticton was quiet and special. Kelowna was busy and a dark horse - it grew on us over the 3 days. Kamloops didn't happen. And Vancouver was brilliant and special as always.

Highlights - being at the top of Sulphur Mountain not wanting to leave, getting chilly at Lake Louise and warming up with a coffee in the Fairmont hotel, eating elk, seeing a coyote, the river and bridge next to the "paint pots" on our way to Kimberley, feeling like a proper expat with all the other Brits2Vancouver folk in Kelowna, English Bay nearly every day in Vancouver, eating poutine, drinking honey lager and watching Canada win the World Cup of Hockey, watching loads of Orca Whales swim by our boat south of the Gulf Islands, and the biggest highlight is the thing I can't write about yet!

Had a tough time leaving this time - it seems to get worse each time I go. I want to go back next year but we have to look at Toronto instead, got to give it a chance at least.

Am so tired at the moment - the jetlag has been particularly awful, and I didn't sleep much on the plane or our first night back. Went straight to work the next day and then couldn't sleep that night - Graham and I were up at 3am drinking milky drinks to try and induce sleep. At 6am Graham had to take my mum and dad to the airport at Bristol, so I just gave up and got up.

Back to work ho hum ho hum. Have applied for that job properly now and the interview is likely to be on October 18th - there are 4 internal applicants including me.

2004-09-03T13:18:00.000+01:00

I must be excited

I could hardly sleep last night, thinking about holiday and whether or not I want to apply for the new job in the library.

I rang up Brian this morning, the guy who does the serials job already and who I'd be job-sharing with, and he gave me a quick lowdown on the job. He put my mind at ease that I wouldn't be spending a lot of time on the phone chasing people for deliveries but rather most of the time would be spent problem solving and doing invoice payments - which sounds good to me. At least it would give me something to really get my teeth into - and I would feel that I had accomplished something everytime I sorted out a problem for somebody. Brian reckons he loves his job, and the only downside is that some of the work can be repetitive, but that's true of all library work. I've told the big boss that I am interested in the position, so he has promised not to fill the vacancy whilst I am away. When I get back, Brian has offered to spend some time with me showing me what he does, and then I will fill in an application form and do the dreaded interview if they think I'll be any good.

It's my lunchtime now, and after that I have 2 hours left at work, in which I have to finish my tasks and go through some things with Kerrianne so she can get stuff done during my absence.

Yes, I am excited. I just want to be there though - I hate the fact that I have to spend all that time on a plane getting there! Bring on the teleporters when you've finished inventing them Mr Scientist!

This school hostage situation in Russia has really upset me. How can they do that to kids? I mean whatever their cause you don't take young children hostage. And they expect sympathy for their cause?

2004-09-02T13:01:00.000+01:00

2 days to go!

2 days and 7 hours from now I will be in a plane that will be just about to land at Calgary airport. Hopefully I will be sitting next to Graham but I can't guarantee that as we have been cheap and refused to pay the £25 each to pre-book our airplane seats. Then we will be driving straight to Banff for 3 days in the mountains (and probably rain looking at the weather forecast). Graham is looking forward to showing me around the place as he went there 3 years ago (or was that 4).

Got excited yesterday when we were packing. I don't tend to get excited anymore in the run up to holidays as I get nervous about the flying. But we're going to Canada again so I can afford to be ultra happy. If I could just get rid of this damn cold then I'm sure I would be bouncing around like a madwoman.

I finished packing this morning, so am going out for drinks and food with Kerrianne and Sue tonight for a bit of a bon voyage session. Graham is off karting with his workmates and I am praying that he won't crash and break anything.

Had a fairly busy weekend in the end. Went to see Al straight from work on Friday but didn't stay too long as we were tired and had to get up early the next morning. Al looked pretty good for an ill person and it was nice to see him again after so long. Saturday we got up early to join the bank holiday rush down to Devon. The M5 wasn't too awful thankfully and we got to Seaton by 10.30 and spent the whole day with Graham's grandparents - they are such a nice couple and both are real characters- it's always a pleasure to visit them. Sunday we had a lazy day, watched the Grand Prix - yay Kimi! - went to the Asian festival which was pants as there was nothing to buy apart from clothes and jewellery and ready-made hot food, then went to the cinema with Hing-Yu to watch I, Robot which I found very enjoyable if rather silly. Monday we went to the racing day at Castle Coombe and saw lots of nice cars (mostly ferraris) and then went to Winchcombe to see Al again as I felt guilty for leaving him so early on Friday. But that backfired as Graham and I felt really ill by 9.30 so we went to Cheltenham and straight to bed. Tuesday I got my haircut, and we bought some holiday clothes before going back home to boring housework and preparing for the holiday.

Phew.

We have eaten far too much curry recently - nearly everyday in fact. I broke the cycle yesterday but will be back on it again by tonight I know!

There is a job coming up at work for 2 days a week in the Arts library dealing with serials subscriptions and chasing up suppliers and sorting out problems with check-in and stuff. I think I might be quite interested in applying as it would be something different to get my teeth stuck into as I'm really bored here. Maybe I wouldn't be so bored if I only worked in Chemistry 3 days a week and somewhere else for the other 2. I'm trying to get some details of the job description before I go as it's bound to be advertised whilst I'm away.

Lunch time bye.

2004-08-27T15:25:00.000+01:00

One week

That's how long it has been since I updated this - wow, that's bad.

Diet tracker - still doing it, not getting any results though, it's amazing how the calories add up in a day so it's worthwhile just for that information alone.

Genealogy - I have found and emailed a person on genesreunited who has listed my great-grandmother (my mother's mother) and all her siblings. Since her family disowned her for marrying my great grandfather it will be really interesting to get all the details of descendants and ascendents from this person, but she hasn't emailed me back yet, so I've hit a brick wall again.

Graham has done his network installation and its been successful so I am very proud of him. We celebrated with a bottle of bubbly on Wednesday night but because he had been working all through the night on Tuesday and hadn't slept much when he got home, he was too tired to enjoy it properly. We went out last night instead for some beers. It was supposed to be a beer or two but we got drunk quickly and couldn't stop. We ended up going to the Triangle for a curry and then after a meal I found myself, quite bizzarely, in the kitchen getting a lesson from the chef on how to make sag panir and afterwards we sat at the bar with the waiter Ali and debated politics, religion and general world affairs for half an hour until Graham got fed up and wanted to go home. We just missed a bus so ended up having another drink that we shouldn't have had and by then we weren't particularly comprehensible. Alex rang on the way back home and I can't remember the conversation well, but it was something along the lines of him still being really ill so going back to Cheltenham to recuperate and get new medication. So he is stopping off in Bristol for the night enroute, and we're going to spend the evening with him at his hotel tonight. Poor bugger can't drink though, probably a good thing.

Last weekend was quite pleasant - went out for lunch with Graham's brother on Saturday. He's split up with another girlfriend so is feeling a bit down at the moment. Then he went home to get some rest as he was doing youth camp this week and needed to reserve his energy, and Graham and I went on to have coffee by the harbourside and have a nice long walk around that area. On Sunday I went round to Kerrianne's house for dinner with her and her friend Jo. We ate and drank and got giggly then attempted to watch a video but talked too much through it, but that didn't really matter.

Work has been a pain in the arse this week - no one is doing what they say they will do. The firedoor which is going to be the temporary entrance to the library was supposed to be finished last Wednesday but now it won't be finished until next Thursday. People kept changing their minds about access to the building, so doors were unlocked and locked seemingly at random - people would get into the library one way, and then find that they couldn't get out again! It became a bit of a joke - getting in and out was a real krypton factor test, but it was really frustrating for us all. Now they've decided definitely that the easy way into the library is too much of a security risk, so everyone has to go a REALLY long way round - downstairs, through the bowels of the Chemistry department where all the labs are, up the stairs, past the admin offices...it's crazy.

And don't even get me started on David bloody Hughes. He comes into the library at the beginning of the week to see what work we urgently need doing - a bit of paint, some shelves screwed onto the wall - to get the Chemical Abstracts back on the shelf again instead of lying around in piles looking like sandbags and making the place even more untidy. All he has to do is ring Building Services to tell them and give them a cost code. We assumed he'd done it, but because email was down at the end of the week and he never answers his phone I couldn't get in contact with him. I phoned again on Monday, only to be told he had gone on holiday. Without telling anybody. I emailed Building Services to find out whether he'd put in the job request, and surprise surprise he hadn't, and I couldn't request the jobs because I don't have the authority or the cost code. So we had to contact Jennifer, who then didn't get back to me because it turns out that she didn't have the necessary code, and nobody replied to her to give it to her, so she had to contact David on his holiday to find it out. The short story is that the job request only went in today - 10 days after it was supposed to be done urgently.

Communications in this place officially suck - it makes me really angry. But I'm just venting here, I don't get stressed about it as I'm used to it. Who cares when I'll be in Canada next week!

I have contacted various people who we are going to meet up with in Canada - Dave and Trish, Paul and Sarah and families in Kelowna, Mandy, Jane and probably a couple who have just started a relocation business and want to use us as guinea pigs for free in Vancouver. Really looking forward to it. Oh, and we're thinking about going to see Beastie Boys in concert on the 20th as well since we're unlikely to be watching any hockey.

Bank holiday this weekend- 4 days off, hurrah! We'll probably go to Devon tomorrow to see Graham's granparents, and on Sunday there is an Asian festival on the Downs, and on Monday there is Ferrari racing at Castle Coombe. Then on Tuesday we've both go the day off so we're going to sort out holiday things and I'll get my haircut.

2004-08-20T12:38:00.000+01:00

Diet

I have just started tracking my diet using http://www.medictra.com/medictra/diettracker/index.asp?MS=0&s=0. It's free and what you do first is fill in your vital statistics and set a goal weight (if you want to, leave it as it is if you just want to stay the same weight) and it tells you what the minimum time is to reach it healthily (mine for eg is 2 stones in 13 weeks).

Then you fill in stuff about your lifestyle - what your normal activity rate is at work and at leisure and how long you sleep for and it calculates how many calories you should be eating per day to maintain your weight, then reduces that figure depending on how much weight you want to lose (500 calories in my case taken off the usual figure of 2250). Each day you fill in an exercise diary and it calculates how many calories you have burnt off doing a particular activity and so adds that to your calorie allowance (eg I burnt off 150 calories walking to work, so I can eat an extra 150 calories today if I want without going over my usual calorie allowance).

And the main part of the site is the food diary, where you add everything that you have had to eat and drink during the day. There are hundreds of foods in the database so you just click on the one you've eaten, tell it the portion size and it calculates the nutritional info. If you can't find what you want on the database you can add your own foods using the nutritional info on the packet and it then saves them for future use. It shows the nutritional info for everything you have eaten in a chart, with a running total of Calories, Protein, Carbohydrate, Fat and Fibre (but the fibre thing doesn't work because someone has forgotten to calculate the fibre for all the foods in the database).

And the thing that I particularly like about it is at the bottom of your daily food chart you have a pie chart showing the percentages of fat, carbohydrate and protein that have made up your day's calories, which is next to another pie chart showing the recommended percentages for a balanced diet (33% from fat (preferably as little saturated fat as possible), 52% Carbs, 15% Protein) - so I can see how healthy and balanced my diet is. It's great as I can put in all the info for my breakfast and lunch and then work out what I should be having for dinner - and I can add foods to the chart to test my meal plan out and delete them again and rethink if the pie chart doesn't balance like it should.

It's taking a bit of time initially, but once I have set up all my favourite foods so they are in my database (and you can set complete meals to if you have the same meal regularly) then it won't take any time at all - it's just a case of remembering to do it every day and remembering the portion sizes (there's a big difference between 6 walnut halves and 3 walnut halves!).

The results page gives you a summary of calorie calculations (though that isn't caluclating properly on mine at the moment so I am ignoring it and looking at the individual days diary instead) and the progress of your diet (including current and target weight (which you can edit daily) and bmi) . This page lets you edit your weight if you've lost any/put any on, and it also gives you the chance to put in your measurements and pulse rate.

The genealogy thing is still going too - I have contacted a lady who believes that her Grandma Ethel might be my Grandad's dad's sister or aunt, but it's a bit difficult to tell when I don't know my g-grandad's name! I have also been searching around the birth and marriage certificates in Co. Durham for that sort of period, and might be having a look at some census(i?) sometime later if I can find any online.

2004-08-18T16:39:00.000+01:00

Genealogy

It's my new hobby as from today. I might get fed up with it soon though if I find I can't get any further. I have joined http://www.genesreunited.co.uk and actually paid the money to become an upgraded member so that I can send mail.

I have found that my cousins' cousin has put a few entries in there already, so I am trying to find out if she has got any further than me with the whole Appleby line. I doubt it somehow.

I was so stressed out last night because of work and bus drivers and rain. Even teletext was against me (don't ask). Tonight I hope to be a bit more chilled. But I guess that depends on how much banging there is coming from Graham and his dad trying to fix the tap pressure in the kitchen.

Hohum.

2004-08-11T11:33:00.000+01:00

Rent

I hit upon the idea that we could sell our flat, put the capital into a high interest account, and rent something for the next 2 years so making money and getting rid of the hassle of having to sell the house when the time comes to move to Canada. Graham has worked out that he could earn £200 per month after tax by doing this and if we could rent a place that costs less per month than our current mortgage payments we'd be laughing.

You see we absoloutely adore our flat and its location, but we're scared that when the time comes to sell the flat we won't be able to sell it, or we'll make a loss on it - especially if the housing market crashes in the next 2 years, and/or we have to reduce the price in order to get a quick sale so that we can move to Canada.

We went to look at a furnished flat being offered for rent by someone at the university last night. She was offering it for £650 fully furnished from the end of October. It was fairly nicely done out, but the second bedroom was a tad on the small side, the lounge was a good size but didn't have enough room for a permanent dining table, and the location was not quite what we wanted - it would add another 15 minutes onto a walk back from town and would take even longer to walk to a pub around there.

We are trying to arrange to view a couple of flats within 2 mins walk of our flat, and I've seen one in Kingsdown that looks great. After we've seen what quality we might be able to get for our money we will probably get a couple of valuations on the flat, and then have a good hard think about it. At the end of the day we don't want to move, but as we're going to have to move anyway we might as well ensure that we don't lose money on the sale of the house, and with interest rates going up it would be preferable to be making more interest on our savings rather than shelling out more money on the mortgage each time it goes up.

We're just waiting for somebody to tell us it is the wrong thing to do. Everybody who we've asked so far seems to think that it is the most sensible thing to do.

2004-08-11T11:06:00.000+01:00

Do builders work?

On Monday some builders turned up, loitered around for the morning and didn't do any work. Nobody could find their foreman. When someone eventually suggested phoning him they found that he was on another job and couldn't come, so they all went home. Meanwhile we spent the morning shifting furniture and stock around to make their "job" easier.

Yesterday the builders came and loitered around all day. In the afternoon the foreman decided that we needn't fence off the whole area, just a few metres square of it - so two blokes put up some metal barriers around the area they are going to initially concentrate on. Then they went home.

Today, no one is doing anything. Again. We need a firedoor built into our library and that was supposed to be their first priority - but nobody has turned up, and nobody has told us when they intend to start. We'll only know when someone starts drilling though the wall.

I don't understand how they can get paid for not being here, or paid for being here and not doing anything. I know I have a hard time justifying my job sometimes, but at least I actually do some work each day and sometimes I do loads.

Well, let's just forget that little moan for now, it's not me paying for it, so I shouldn't really be too bothered - and when they do start working it's going to be so dusty and noisy that I'll wish they hadn't!

Had a nice time in Cheltenham over the weekend. Went out for a curry with Liz and Kel on Friday and they seemed to really appreciate having time alone with me, rather than Graham being there, or me inviting half of Cheltenham along like I always manage to do when I come back for such a short time. We went to Taylors afterwards to meet up with Liz's bloke Leeroy and friends - they have been together a year and this is the first time I've met him. People seemed to want to go clubbing, I didn't want to, but they didn't want me to go home so we ended up compromising and going to the Two Pigs instead - which turned out to be a mistake as everybody wanted to be in different rooms (there was drum and bass out the back, cheesy chart downstairs, and indie hiphop and punk upstairs) and the guys were too drunk to really enjoy any of it. Bumped into someone I really didn't want to (Abi's ex James) who insisted on buying me a drink and talking to me, but all he did was slag Kelly off so I made my excuses and gave the drink he bought me to Leeroys friend Maxi (as it was his birthday). Later on James bought Kelly a drink, possibly to apologise for being horrible to her, but she freaked out and thought he had spiked it with something (possible, he is a bit of a weird one) - so I just told her to leave it.

Saturday was a bit more civilised. Went round to have a look at Clare's flat that she moved into on Wednesday - it is very small and in a location that she never really wanted to be in, but it's all she could afford (it was £95,000 as it was). It's great that she's got a place of her own after so long and she's really pleased to have her freedom. We drove to Montpellier to visit Caz, whom neither of us had seen for 2 years. Her rented flat is lovely - right on Montpellier Park - she and Mark have bought a house near Clare and will be moving shortly, and the are also getting married next August. It was really nice to chat with her and I hope to see her again soon - we shared a bottle of wine and then I went back home to see Graham and to help mum prepare for the BBQ. It was a perfect evening for BBQing and the food we made was nice - the only problem was that next door had an 18th birthday party going on for the twins in their garden so we had to compete with their music!

On Sunday we went out to a new Thai restaurant for lunch. The inside was very well done, with a waterfall in the entrance, wood panelling, gilt and elephants everywhere. They did a brilliant buffet with a wide selection of food, really nicely presented, and the service was very attentive. We all enjoyed it, apart from the fact that most of the food was pretty spicy so there wasn't enough contrast to the chilli taste that built up in our mouths!

All in all a very pleasant weekend.

2004-08-05T16:27:00.000+01:00

It's hot

Very hot. And it is even hotter because this library has zero ventilation. It is hot sat at the desk by the doors with the fan on, it is even hotter when you are up a ladder deep in the bowels of the library, lifting heavy, disgustingly dusty journals from the top of the bookcases and transferring them to another room for disposal. I've been sweating my t**s off.

We're all rather panicked because building work is starting on the quad outside on Monday and as well as having no normal access to the library at very late notice, they sprung it on us that they want to start knocking through our reading room and the wall at the end of the library to put in a firedoor on Monday as well. We knew it was coming, but a little more notice would have been nice. We now have had to move so many journals and books around to make space for the building works which are going to do away with 33 m of shelving. All in one day. Ah well, at least it has given me something to do!

Ah, the trials and tribulations of a library assistant.

Don't know if I'll be seeing much of Graham this weekend. I am going to cheltenham tomorrow night to go out with Liz and Kel whilst he goes on this booze cruise in Bristol. He is meant to join me on Saturday but I can't see him coming down before the evening as he is sure to be very hungover, and also he needs to be at the end of the phone and easily able to get into work if needed, as loads of people are working over the weekend to prepare for this big installation next week that he has been planning for months. We are going out for mum's birthday meal on Sunday lunchtime, but Graham may be called back to Bristol before then. Hopefully not.

Never mind, at least the installation is going ahead and he will be able to go on holiday to Canada and install the network rather than having to choose between the biggest thing in his career and the biggest plan in his personal life. For a while there we thought the project might be so delayed that he would not come on holiday with me!

2004-07-30T12:56:00.000+01:00

That was the week that was

So you now know about the roast dinner-related events of the week. The rest has been fairly normal. Mum and Dad came to visit briefly on Saturday on their way back from Devon and we went out for lunch at the Italian across the Downs leaving Graham behind (at his own request) to watch the F1 qualifying and finish decorating the lounge.

Graham has done a good job with the decorating - the lounge and hall are now magnolia and will look great once we have all the pictures we want on the walls. The next step is fitting laminate flooring throughout those two rooms. Graham has got addicted to ebay and has been buying brass switches and sockets to replace our standard white ones, and he has also been bidding for spotlights for the kitchen and navy blue throws to cover our sofa and armchair, and other things like a case for his new camera and a CD for his brother etc etc etc. He seems to always be on the internet now checking whether we've won bids.

Jenson Button drove the race of his life on Sunday to come from 13th on the grid to 2nd by the end of the race. What made it most astonishing was the fact that he was only 8 seconds behind Michael Schumacher at the end, who had started on pole. There is no doubt that if he had not had to have an engine change on Friday and lose 10 places on the grid, he would have been racing MS for the lead all the way through, and probably would have been ahead by the end of the first round of pitstops.

We went to see Farenheit 9/11 on Tuesday night. I found it rather depressing as we see all this crap happening and yet can't do anything about it. We just have to sit here in the UK and hope that the Americans get wise to the loser that is their president come voting time. Not that I particularly like John Kerry from what I've seen of him, but anyone must be better than the purely business-minded, profit-hunting, war-mongering idiot that they've got now.

The film wasn't all that great - I guess it reinforced my opinion on Bush by showing me some things I didn't know, but I don't think that it was as effective and thought-provoking a film as Bowling for Columbine. I was outraged at some parts of it, saddened at others but you got the feeling that Michael Moore was just sniping and trying to be snide and clever, rather than actually caring about the cause like he did with Columbine. And Iraq wasn't the lovely place that he tried to show it as being before the war - the Iraqi's have had such a crap time of it whoever has been controlling their country. And I couldn't feel particularly sympathetic towards the American woman who lost her son in Iraq as before he died she was so "pro-war, pro-America, I'm really proud our family has such a military tradition" and afterwards she was more "Bush is a bastard for taking us to war for no reason, my poor poor son died for nothing". Fair enough she lost a son for a not particularly just cause and she is heartbroken, but had her son not died I think she would still be telling everybody how proud she was of him being in Iraq and getting rid of the evil dictator.

Went to see Doris last night as we have been promising for ages to go and see her and never seem to find the right time. We had a drink with her and she was really pleased to see us. Our half-hour visit turned into an hour and a half! I still can't get over how spritely she is at her age - apart from dodgy legs and some dodgy hearing at the moment she's in such good health.

We're off oop north to see Ade and Sheila this weekend, leaving after work today. We're taking our keg of beer with us for the BBQ we've planned for tomorrow night. It's forecasted to be a sunny warm weekend so we have lucked out again. We will be walking in Castleton in the Peak District during the day tomorrow which should be great as it's supposed to be one of the prettiest villages around that area and we have the added bonus of visiting some of the famous caves there. I'm really looking forward to it. I shan't wear my new trainers I've decided as I need to break them in a bit more before tackling 5KM hikes!

2004-07-30T12:24:00.000+01:00

That roast dinner fiasco

Uh-huh.

Now let me tell you the reason why I needed to make a roast dinner this week.

It was Sunday afternoon, the GP had fininshed, and Graham had been on call all week but had Sunday off. We decided to go into town and drink beer at Zero Degrees - the new microbrewery pub. After a pint each (one pilsner, one special - which that day was mango and very delicious) I was feeling rather tipsy as I hadn't eaten much all day, so I said to Graham that we should go eat before drinking anything else and that he should choose as I really wasn't bothered as long as it was food.

Graham decided he wanted a roast dinner from Wetherspoons and I reluctantly agreed. We got there only to be told on ordering our food that they had run out of all roast dinners - even nut roast. So began a 45 minute hunt round the city centre for a place which did roast chicken or turkey. We rushed about to no avail as hardly any restaurant or pub were doing roasts, and if they did it was beef or lamb. Eventually I suggested we go to the Beefeater the other side of the river and they did have a board outside saying they did roasts. We went up to the restaurant and asked the waitress if they had any roasts left, and she said no, oh, yes but only turkey. Graham said fine, table for 2 please. We ordered drinks, and I struggled to find anything on the menu that I wanted as I was dismayed that everything was expensive - no light bites. I have issues with paying lots of money for food that I don't particularly want - when I'd rather have a burger for a couple of pounds up the road.

Anyhow, I eventually ordered a starter and Graham ordered his roast and we drank our drinks. 5 minutes later the waitress comes up to tell us that there are no roast dinners available after all! Graham got frustrated and unhappy because he seemed destined not to have his roast dinner, and by now he had worked himself into such a state that nothing else was going to do. We left the restaurant saying that we came in specially to have the roast dinner and we didn't want anything else. I then promised Graham that I would make him a roast dinner during the week to make up for it. We decided just to go back to Zero Degrees and eat there, but we did stop off at one more place en-route who were offering buy one get one free roasts - and yep, yet again they had run out of chicken and there was only beef left. Graham had started to see the funny side by this point.

We ate at Zero Degrees - the starters were nice, bruschetta with practically a whole punnet of quartered cherry tomatoes on top, and doughballs with garlic butter and chilli oil. The pizzas - BBQ chicken and Goats Cheese - were pretty average. We washed that down with a pitcher of mango beer and were pretty full, but I realised if we bought one pudding between us then our food bill would come to over £25 and so we would qualify for a free 5-litre keg of a beer of our choice (normally costing £14.95)! We ordered the smallest pudding ever - a dark chocolate and cointreau grenache which turned out to be the richest pudding ever and so more than enough for the two of us. We then with big smiles on our faces ordered our 5-litre keg of mango beer (that stuff really does taste great) - only to be told that they'd run out! Can you believe it? We got a receipt though and told them we'd come back later in the week when they'd brewed some more. I picked a keg up on Tuesday - it had the wrong date on it so it looks like we nicked someone elses reserved keg, but nay mind, at least we've got it!

2004-07-29T16:06:00.000+01:00

I got a brand new pair of trainers

After a lot of online research and visits to Ellis Brigham (twice), Blacks and Nomad travelstore I decided not to get the Merrells that I ordered in specially because I thought the octogrip sole was going to kill me on hard wet surfaces. Instead I went for a pair of these The North Face - http://www.ellis-brigham.com/index2.htm?http%3A//www.ellis-brigham.co.uk/outdoor_footwear_ss04.htm

I walked to work in them today and they are fairly comfortable - bit of an issue with the top of the toes but that should disappear when they've been broken in more. I shall take them with me to the Peak District this weekend to test them out on tougher terrain. Hopefully by the time we get to Canada they should feel as comfy as an extra pair of socks.

I'm cooking my first ever roast today and I must admit I'm cheating by buying ready made yorkshire puds (I don't have the necessary ovenware to cook them) and by grilling my lamb steak. I shall roast the potatoes and Graham's chicken though and I have stuffing and gravy and nice veg to go with it. I keep getting contradictory advice about the potatoes - whether to add some flour or not post-parboiling. I think I won't this time around.

2004-07-23T13:41:00.000+01:00

Gripe of the day

I want to buy a new pair of trainers before I go on holiday to Canada at the beginning of September. Specifically I would like a pair of Merrells or something Merrell-esque at least. Sports shops in this country don't sell those sorts of trainers, specialist outdoors shops do, but mainly just men's versions. I am fed up of looking and not finding!

I went online yesterday to see if I could get a pair that way. The links from the Merrell website to online distributors of their product lead me to US-only sites. UK websites that I have found on Google do sell some Merrells but the choice is really limited compared to the actual Merrell range and most of the time they don't have my size in stock.

Blogger.com is now going to take the word Merrell and stick it up at the top of this page as a link. You just watch.

Anyway, I'm going shopping this weekend and if I can't find a pair I like then I will have to purchase a pair online that I've never tried on and aren't my first choice of style or colour.

Graham is moaning as he's supposed to be going on a booze cruise in August with some people at work. The trouble is it's fancy dress and the theme is "famous doubles". Since I am not allowed to go due to limited numbers and all of his workmates have already paired up and got their costumes sorted he is feeling a bit disheartened and doesn't know what to do. I suggested that he should go as Rod Hull and take a toy emu with him, but he didn't seem to fancy that idea.

It's Friday again thank god. Looking forward to a bit of shut-eye tomorrow. And hopefully the GP will be more exciting this time. I entered a competition to win tickets to the MotoGP at Donnington Park this Sunday but I assume I haven't won so we will definitely be watching the F1 instead. Might persuade Graham to go to Brandon Hill if it is nice to listen to some jazz band play before heading on to zero degrees for a spot on dinner and beer.

2004-07-22T12:54:00.000+01:00

So...

what's been going on in my life the past couple of weeks I have been too lazy to write?

Graham and I very nearly split again, but we managed to sort ourselves out in time to celebrate our third anniversary together on July 11th. It really saddens me when we go through these rough times as I can't bear the thought of a life without him. We complement each other so well and have all these plans for our future, it just feels so right to be together. When he says that he just wants to make me happy and that I might be much happier without him, I have to try and make him see that I want to be happy with him, not happy without him.

We didn't do anything mad for our "anniversary", just spent the Saturday evening (10th) relaxing at home, having a bath and massage and nice food and bubbly, listening to music and snuggling and being romantic.

We have been out for 2 successful work-dos - Wetherspoons and curry with his crowd, Penny Farthing and mexican (rather more expensive unfortunately) with mine.

We have seen 2 grand prixs and been pissed off with Michael Schumacher still winning whatever happens in qualifying. We also went to Silverstone last week for a testing session - only McLaren and Jordan were there but it was still pretty special as it was the first time I had ever been close to a F1 car. My first experience of the day involved David Coulthard coming out of Bridge Corner at about 180mph - and it was an incredible buzz as even though you watch it on the telly and you know it's fast, nothing can really prepare you for the actual speed and noise involved.

I saw Matt and Sharon briefly when they came to Bristol to run their mile for Sport Aid.
I caught up with Liz for the first time since Easter when I hitched a lift to Cheltenham last night with Graham and Ade who were going to visit their Grandad in hospital. We had a good old girly gossip and I'm arranging to see her and Kel for a girl's night out in August.

Have been emailing Clare and she is in the process of buying her very first place - a flat near Sainsburys on the Tewksbury Road. I'm really pleased for her as she has been wanting a place of her own for so long but never seemed to be flush enough to cobble a deposit together.

Last weekend we went up to Loughborough for Graham's steam train dinner. The railway itself was a little disappointing in the day as you couldn't get off and do anything at the stations and the scenery wasn't very impressive (apart from at the reservoir), but the evening was fantastic and very romantic. We had a 5-course meal with wine and port and it was all lovely. The staff were great (and so young and sweet that I kept wanting to pat them on the head and tell them not to worry so) and I even won a bottle of wine when my comment card was drawn out of a hat.

We also went to Hereford to see Graham's mum who had just run (or rather power walked) the Race for Life in such a good time that we only got there when she had finished. Had a nice day with them catching up as we hadn't seen them for quite some time.

I think that about covers it. I am feeling exhausted at the moment and am looking forward to a lie-in or two over the weekend. I was thinking about going to Cheltenham for the weekend but I think I will just stay home and rest and get my energy back for next week and our trip up north next weekend. That is unless Alex calls me and wants me to head down that way. As far as I know he got back from Thailand on Monday and is staying with his mum in Winchcombe, but I haven't heard from him yet.

2004-07-21T12:45:00.000+01:00

I've got a new blog

http://blah3blog.blogspot.com

This is in recognition of the fact that this blog has become far too diary-like and much less random musings.

Hopefully I will find time to update this blog soon, but not at the moment because I need to do some work after spending far too much time experimenting with colour and stuff on the other blog. And now I've found that I

can do exactly the same on this one!

2004-07-12T18:04:00.000+01:00

Hurrah!

We received our AOR today! Brilliant!

I was expecting it to take 12 weeks, but it was only 8 so I'm even more chuffed. Either the High Commission have taken on some new workers over the summer or the backlog is moving along a bit for some other reason. The back of the card says that we now might not be contacted by them for 18 months, but I don't mind now that we are officially in the system and we know that they are processing our application.

They started processing it on 7th July - which just happened to be the third anniversary of the day that Graham and I first met. Ahhhhhh! Good omen? Let's hope so.

2004-07-09T10:20:00.000+01:00

More personality tests

My results:

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results

Warmth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Liveliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Social Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Sensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Abstractness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Introversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|	14%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Independence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Tension	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	22%

Take Free 16pf based Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

2004-07-08T12:44:00.000+01:00

I'm an idealist inspiration!

I have just taken the Myers-Briggs personality test and found out that my personality type is ENFP. I have never read through a description of what I am supposed to be like and nodded so much. It has helped me affirm my identity, and to realise that I am not alone in the world (although I think there are only about 8% of similar people in the world).

This is me:
The Inspirer

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:

Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

I'm going to get Graham to take the test so that I can understand more where he is coming from. It could improve our relationship so much.

I strongly recommend anyone to take the free test and then read up on the personality type in depth (including suitable careers, how we deal with relationships and the best plan of action to make the most of life as a particular personality type) here

2004-07-01T16:07:00.000+01:00

Canada Day

It's Canada Day today so I have been humming their national anthem to myself and thinking of ice hockey and maple syrup and cougars.

I'm kinda busting out of my shirt today - it was fine before I left home but during the day I have popped a button or two at various times. I went out for lunch with Ed at Yiamass and so am feeling stuffed and the buttons are popping on a more regular basis! I had the seafood spaghetti which had around 100 mussels in it, no word of a lie, a few small shrimp, a couple of tiger prawns and some squid. It was tasty and I managed to only get a little down my front, so I'm quite pleased.

Ed has got himself a teaching job in Crawley for a year so he will be staying in Brighton. He's just moved into a flat of his own after spending the year holed up in a student place, so I think he's enjoying having the place to himself. Couldn't believe how expensive it was though - and he's living in Hove, not the centre of Brighton. Hopefully get to visit him down there soon as I'd like to show Graham the place. It's another one on my list of places to live in this country if we stay.

Tim lost the tennis big stylee yesterday to the unseeded Croat who is tipped to be the next Pete Sampras. Still, embarassing to go out in straight sets when everyone is expecting you to win. Holland lost the footie, so Portugal are in the final, can only hope now that Czech Republic beat Greece tonight to keep my dreams of winning the bet alive.

2004-06-30T12:39:00.000+01:00

Cannonball

Keep getting Damien Rice's Cannonball going through my head, and it even makes me hum and sing out loud sometimes. But it's a beautiful song, so I don't mind too much. Better than all the crap I've had in my head recently - I always seem to get stuck with 80's/90's novelty songs like startrekking or They Might Be Giants songs.

Graham seems a little chirpier now, hopefully he has started to get himself out of the rut. Trouble is, I get really down if he's down because I feel so useless. We're going into town tonight to play pool and listen to live jazz at one of our new favourite pubs -Horts. Has a nice ambience there and hopefully we should have a chilled out and happy night and Graham can drink his Waggledance.

I'm quite tired today - have been going to bed late recently and it's finally catching up on me. Just as I was being a wise-arse and telling Graham that I feel more alive if I don't sleep my 8 hours a night.

Ralf Schumacher has got two fractured vertabrae so will probably be out for 3 months now - the rest of the season. There is great speculation on who will take his place. I want Gene to have a go, as he's been test driving for Williams for yonks, and he did a good job in the one race he drove last year when Ralf was out with an injury - he came 5th. But if Ralf is out long term then they might get someone else in to do the job - probably the person who is going to take his job when he moves to Toyota next year.

I'm cold. It's gonna pour down soon. I'm hoping for some thunderstorms myself!

2004-06-29T13:36:00.000+01:00

Woo hoo, woo hoo hoo

And I haven't written this blog for a week why?
Because I've been lazy and also haven't had much going on.

England won against Croatia in their best display of football for years, but then lost to Portugal in the quarter-final because they played like schoolkids. The ref was a nightmare official, but the England lads only have themselves to blame at the end of the day. Beckham needs to sort his head out by the time the next big tournament comes around. Now I'm gunning for Czech Republic or Holland to win, as I get a meal out paid for by Graham if they do - courtesy of a little bet we made at the beginning of the tournament.

Tim Henman is playing good tennis - could this be his year? Depends on the quality of play of the other top seeds. He'll be lucky if he can get past Roddick and Federer. I've turned into a bit of a tennis nut myself since the weekend as Graham bought Top Spin for the Xbox and I've been playing on it loads. I've won all the pro-am tournaments and got up to the heady heights of world no. 9 before losing out in the semi-final of my first major tournament and slipping down to no.13.

Had a pretty boring weekend. Went shopping on Saturday and got really wet. Bought a shirt and jeans and the Evanescence CD which has one beautiful track on it - My Immortal. Finally got around to watching Magnolia which was overlong but generally a good film. Graham thought it was pants, but then he is the biggest film grumper around. In fact there isn't much at all that will please him at the moment as he is on a real downer, just disatisfied with everything. He's turning into me far too quickly, I need to stop him quickly!

Went out for lunch with mum and dad on Sunday as they were housesitting in Olveston but was all distracted because Graham got called out just as we left the flat. He managed to eat something before getting the phonecall to say that it was critical enough for him to have to go in - meaning a drive to completely the other side of Bristol to where we were.

I had to go to the docs for some tests yesterday - they ended up taking FIVE vials of blood from me, the vampires. I don't expect anything nasty to come up, but the doc wants to rule out all possibilities before referring me to a specialist. I got into work at 10.45 only to find that Sue had phoned in sick so poor old Julian was on his own all morning, so it was just as well he didn't have meetings to go to.

Life is about to get more hectic this month. This week is pool and jazz on wednesday, curry and beer with Graham's work on friday, Jon's (grumpy pants as it's his 30th) birthday meal on saturday. Next week is my work do on Friday, a visit to Rolls Royce for an open day on Saturday. The week after is a steam train dinner up in Loughborough on Saturday, prob Hereford to see Graham's mum on Sunday. Then there's a weekend free to rest, and the last week in July we're off up north to visit Ade and Sheila for the weekend. Hopefully all that will get Graham's spirits up, if it doesn't wear him out...

2004-06-21T15:45:00.000+01:00

I wanna go home

and I have done since I got to work this morning. Probably before that actually.
Last night I didn't sleep very well cos I kept dozing off and having these really vivid hallucination type "dreams" and waking up with a start. On more than one occasion I spoke or laughed and woke myself up. After one of these episodes Graham was going to comfort me because he thought I'd had a nightmare, but I'd just woken up laughing because Graham was wearing some silly clothes in my dream and was acting a goon.

I was naughty on Friday night and went out on the piss, with not much money. Now I am more broke than ever. I only have £20 in my current account until Friday. But it was a fun night out. We started out as usual in Wetherspoons for cheap drink (and their 2 meals for £5.75 offer) and football, then we went down to the Bristol Ram which used to be our favourite pub Le Chateux. It's still pretty similar but now brown and cream instead of yellow. Then we went to The Hatchet to see some goths and punks, then on into town to the Old Duke to catch some trad jazz. After that had finished we walked aimlessly towards the old part of town, and accidentally went into a gay bar down there, which to Graham's horror was also a (bad) karaoke night. Unfortunately we had got the drinks in before we realised so we had to stick with it. I laughed and evilly left Graham to his own devices for about 10 minutes whilst I went to the loo. When I came back he seemed desperate to snog me to prove his straightness to all those in the room, not that anyone had taken the blindest bit of notice of him - that was funny.

We ended up in the Tantric Jazz Cafe very late so got in free. We didn't stay very long because the bottle of house wine we'd bought was disgusting (and pricey too) and we'd had enough anyway. As proved when Saturday saw us lying in bed most of the day trying to catch up on our sleep and hydration.

Had a nice day for Father's day with dad, mum and Neil. The meal wasn't as good as expected but it didn't matter too much. Caught some jazz and sun at the Old Duke, went to Horts but missed their jazz session and then took them all for a little tour of historic Bristol.

US Grand Prix was a weird one. Only 8 finishers. Minardi got a point, Sato got his first podium and we thought Ralf Schumacher was gone for a while there after his crash - he didn't move for a good 3 minutes. He's apparently not too badly injured though - lots of bruising and concussion but nothing serious.

Croatia v England footie tonight. It's going to be a nail biter, as England need to draw or win to get through to the quarter-finals.

Wimbledon started today. Just when the weather is getting crap - typical!

2004-06-18T17:00:00.000+01:00

Fantastic viewing!

Last night's TV was brilliant - England beating the Swiss 3-0 followed by France nearly losing to Croatia followed by the biggest brawl in entertainment television ever. Big Brother was hilarious, everyone was laying into each other and security had to go in and separate them all, locking Emma up in the bedsit in solitary confinement. I don't like any of them in there, so the more fighting the better in my opinion.

The weekend has come around quick this week and you won't see me complaining. Though I am being a sad muppet and staying after work to write this, but I will be off in a minute. Got an easy weekend planned - doing nothing much tomorrow, and on Sunday my parents and brother are coming down so we can take Dad out for Father's Day - we're going to watch some lunchtime jazz down the pub and have something to eat somewhere. Whether Graham joins us or not depends on whether he thinks it will be worthwhile going to Castle Coombe on his own in the rain to watch the Formula 3000.

F1 on again this weekend - Indianapolis. I wish I could say that I won't bother watching it, but I can't....I'm addicted.

Today Kerrianne and I thought that the work experience boy was very sweet and cute, and then I found out that he was only 15 so am feeling ashamed! I'm as bad as all those blokes fancying Matilda in Leon and Hermione in Harry Potter.

2004-06-17T12:35:00.000+01:00

I'm working, I'm working!

Aside from the meeting I accidentally missed this morning (though the minutes tell me that I didn't miss anything at all really) I have been having a full-on working day for a change. I have enough things on to keep me busy, rather than just trying to look busy. I'm quite enjoying the responsibility. Feel like a go-getter at last (even if it is only going getting students to return their books before they graduate).

We went to an art exhibition on Monday night. Sounds posh yeah? Well, in reality it was an art exhibition by some college students so the quality wasn't all that great. The photography and graphic design was by far the best section, and Sheree's nude photography was some of the best there (the other 3 catching my eye were a collage of a hundred cafe photos, a Bristolian student interpretation of the 7 deadly sins, and some shots of local cathedrals and churches taken through a pinhole camera and presented on huge screens to stunning effect). Sheree was lapping up all the attention, and Graham was very pleased to single out "the bum" (the model that Sheree used for her shots) from the milling crowd.

As Sheree says, now it's my turn - this all came about from a drunken night a couple of summers ago when I was trying to inspire her, her daughter and myself to live the creative dream. Sheree was to market and sell her photography, her daughter (a hairdresser) was to get a job at Vidal Sasoon and I had to write a novel. Since then, she hasn't sold any work but has completed a foundation photography course and is in the process of marketing her stuff, the daughter (I forget her name dammit) went off and got a fairly good hairdressing job only to give it up to become a pole dancer, and I....Well I started a distance writing course and promptly stopped after assignment 3 after criticism from my tutor and moving house and going on holiday and applying for Canada combined to distract me too much. I haven't written anything since, apart from this blog. I know I need to get back into the course, but I'm fed up of researching magazines in order to write articles for them - it takes up so much time, and I don't have THAT much to spare. I'm hungry to get onto some fiction writing to tell the truth - something a bit more creative and less restrictive, as I can write about what I want rather than what the publisher wants. Hey, maybe I can suggest that to the tutor...

I was off ill yesterday. Went home early on Tuesday with this blimmin' bladder infection again, but I left it too late to take a pill so the effects lasted into Wednesday when they usually would go away after one night. Tried to catch up on my sleep but my dozing was interrupted by Sharma opening the squeaky door downstairs about a hundred times.

England vs Switzerland in the footie tonight - we've got to win to stay in the chance to qualify for the quarter finals so it'll be tense stuff. Switzerland are definitely the underdogs but they managed a draw against Croatia, and underdogs seem to be doing quite well in this tournament so far - take a look at Greece! It starts at 5 so we might go down the pub and watch it straight after work.

I have practically run out of money this month due to buying too many unecessary things and going out a lot. I can't believe I bought even MORE books - even though I have 8 or 9 from the previous shopping spree that I haven't read yet. I bought Tim Winton's Cloudstreet after a recommendation from Anthony, my email buddy, and also JD Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas (well I've wanted it for ages and it was about £7 off) and Tony Parson's Man and Boy for Graham.

2004-06-14T16:10:00.000+01:00

Coolio

Had a very nice weekend thank you very much!

There was so much going on that it was hard to decide what to do - how much sport do you need in one weekend? There was motoracing - F1 GP, Moto GP, BTC, Le Mans and practically everything else other than Rally, football, tennis finals, rugby, cricket...We settled for watching both the grand prixs and the England footie match (all on Sunday).

Friday night was a fairly nice night out and we ate at Tootsies. Somehow Jeff managed to eat a starter, a giant double burger (I just about finished my single burger once I had removed the top bun) and then a pudding as well, washed down with a fruit smoothie. I was in awe. Everyone really liked the food, and it was good to see Hing again - and he finally has a girlfriend! Saturday night Graham and I went out for dinner and onto The Fleece where we went to see a gig by Gee Baby I Love You - a 10 piece jazzy soul funk group. They were really good (from what I can remember, I was very drunk and probably in a hypnotic dancing trance) - very entertaining in a Commitments style way. They were supported by Funkenstein - who were possibly even better than the main act, but it was only three quarters of the way through the set that I realised..."hang on, that one's got boobs, and that one is showing her bra off, and the big singer bloke now that he has taken his cap off is, in fact a woman. In fact they're all women. duh." They made for very convincing men though - they were more butch than most men I know. Whilst at the gig we met some very strange local characters, some very weird Americans and I nearly got into a fight after (purposefully)nearly tripping up some prat who thought he owned the dancefloor and was bumping into everybody.

We also went to a motor show on the Downs on Sunday - lots of very nice old cars, and very nice newish sports cars, and some atrocities and other weird things. I ate junk all day and felt bad. Ah well, some sort of diet beckons now...

2004-06-11T14:51:00.000+01:00

Friday feeling

It's Friday tra la la la la. It is also Canadian Grand Prix weekend AND the start of Euro 2004 - so we get to watch Engerland getting trounced by the French, but I'll still be cheering for them anyway.

It's not sunny today, which is a huge pain as it's the first day I have ventured out without a long sleeved top or a jacket at my disposal - and I'm a bit chilly to tell the truth.

Going out later to meet up with Graham's friend Hing-Yu and probably some others - should be a good night, get some tasty grub in. Graham's just bought a load of wine so it's a shame not to be drinking that tonight - but I'm sure we'll manage to get through it tomorrow and Sunday.

I'm feeling a bit listless so I'm going to make some lists...

Things that I love:
Graham
My parents
Cats
Sushi
Books
Travel
Mountains
Lakes
Ocean
The moon
The stars

Foods that I am or have been addicted to:
Olives
Sushi
Pistachio nuts
Halloumi cheese
Salmon and Broccoli burgers from the mobile fishmongers
Mint viscount biscuits
Seafood crepes
Chinese curry
Indian curry
chocolates
macaroni cheese
dried spaghetti

Foods that I miss as they don't make them any more:
United bars with the honeycomb pieces in the chocolate
Roast Beef flavoured monster munch before they changed the recipe and made them smaller.
Spicy tomato Wotsits
Applause bars
Quattro (the drink)
This isn't a very good list

Favourite cities/towns:
Vancouver
Sydney
San Francisco
Queenstown
Edinburgh
Brighton

Places I haven't visited yet that I must:
Ireland
Iceland
Parts of US - specifically New York, New England, New Orleans, Washington DC, Montana, Yosemite, Yellowstone, Alaska
Peru
Thailand
Vietnam
China
Scottish Highlands
and many more but I have to go and do some work now...

2004-06-10T23:22:00.000+01:00

Kitten

I have had enough of not having a cat around the place so I have adopted a kitten. He is called Plato and is very cute. He will be hanging around at the end of every post so please play with him occasionally - he is well behaved and won't scratch or bite.

2004-06-10T18:49:00.000+01:00

Booooooooring

That's what my blog is. I don't seem to be doing much random musing - I didn't mean for this to become quite so diary-like.

Al rang me from Thailand today and we spoke for a good half hour (was I supposed to be working - yes - but I hid out in the dusty old stack room where no one could see me). I miss him loads. It was so good to hear his voice and to realise just how chilled out he is - it's looking like he might quit work when he gets back and start up a new venture where he can be more hands-on and creative. He is currently on an island with only him, his sister and a couple of cooks, within walking distance of a small town (about 8 buildings) where they go to eat at people's houses some nights. He is so in love with the Thai culture - he has so much respect for them and their way of life. He has to go to Malaysia to renew his visa at some point so he might check out that side of the border. He is also hoping to head to the more volatile south (having been told by locals that the fighting has all been Thai on Thai rather than Muslim versus westerners).

His money is running out faster than he thought, so he's probably going to head home a month early with a stop in Dubai on the way back. I have asked him to come and stay with us in Bristol for a while, at least a couple of days, when he returns. I could use some of his inspiration to give me a good kick up the arse. I have no motivation left at all these days - I think this job has drawn it all out of me. Maybe time to look for another, but the money is so good here and it will look good for my CV if I stay in one place for a while rather than hopping around all over the place like I have previously done...

Did I mention that the Flames lost in the final game of the Stanley Cup finals? Glad I didn't stay up to watch that on Monday night - I stayed up for Saturday's game (Flames only had to win that game and they would have won the cup without a game 7) and was awake until 5a.m. because they went into second overtime. Yawwwn. It was a fantasticly exciting match though.

Sharma downstairs has had the doctor in again because of her high blood pressure. Before a month ago she had never needed to see a doctor - and she is 70! She is having a hard time coming to terms with Sam's new wife living with them. She has been used to having him all to herself for 30-odd years and now she has to share him and her space with Annamika. Sam tells me that Annamika is settling in OK, but with no family or friends in the country and conflict with Sharma, it must be so difficult for her. She never leaves the house apart from with him. I don't think she speaks English particularly well, so I think she should get out there and meet people in order to assimilate herself. Then what I think doesn't matter - there's obviously a whole load of stuff I don't know, and I don't know crap about etiquette in arranged marriages either, so I guess I'm one of the least qualified people to pass opinion on the matter!

Voting today for the European elections. I've already voted by post. Hope Tony gets a good old slap in the face, I'm thinking with some sort of large fish (but at the same time I hope BNP and UKIP don't get any seats, but that's wishful thinking).

Saw a really depressing film last night about a Russian girl whose mother leaves her to run away to America with her boyfriend, leaving her on her own in a flat which her aunt then kicks her out of. So she's living in this hideous dump of a bedsit with no money and no electricity and only an 11 year old boy as her true friend (her other "real" friend made out that she was a prostitute so the whole community disowned her). At a loss of anything else to do (having no education and social services not looking out for her) she does prostitute herself a couple of times for some money. Then she meets a guy who says he is going to save her and take her to Sweden to live with him and get her a job, but he sends her off to Sweden on her own to be met by his boss who promptly locks her up in a flat day and night only to let her out in order to service his clients who are into young girls and take all the money. She tries to run away, he beats her up, you get the picture. And you know this is happening all over the world as we speak. As I say - thoroughly depressing.

And on that light note I am off to cook the boy some dinner. Not cook the boy for dinner - not like the story in the news of a guy finding the dismembered remains of his daughter-in-law whilst going to the fridge to get some milk when visiting his son's house and waiting for him to return. Ick.

2004-06-08T16:23:00.000+01:00

Dang

I don't seem to have any time to write what I want in this thing at the moment. Keeping myself busy at work to avoid the boredom and also getting distracted by other things.

Had a good weekend. Went to see the Lion King at IMAX which was very cute. I hadn't seen the film in 5 or 6 years so there were a few surprises in there along with all the stuff I had remembered - it's THE definitive Disney old-style animated (ie not Pixar) film I think. The only film that comes close is Aladdin.

Made some food and had a picnic up on the Downs on Saturday evening. We ate and drank and talked and read and practically fell asleep in each others arms until it got to 10pm and the dew started to settle on us making us feel too cold to stay out any longer. On Sunday we had a big BBQ at Ade's house and ate like pigs the lot of us. Ade with his new girlfriend and rather drunk was a tad hyper. Well I think they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend now anyway. There was certainly a lot of canoodling going on!

The weather has been gorgeous - it's the hottest day of the year today and feeling a bit muggy out, so I am relieved that it will be cooling off but still staying above average temperature for the rest of the week. Add a nice breeze, I'll be happy!

Have just become a member of the forum on the new-style Michael Marshall Smith website so have been chatting with some like-minded fans. I've realised that he has brought out an extended selection of his short stories so I will be buying that at some point as I have nothing else of his left to read apart from those - and it's bound to be another couple of years at least before the next novel comes out.

I am distressed at how much I am enjoying Big Brother this year. I thought I would hate all of them, but it turns out I just hate half of them. Dang.

2004-06-04T15:07:00.000+01:00

Ahhhhhchoo!

It's 3pm and I'm going home in a minute. Not because I am ill but because I have some lieu time to take. The title of this post is referring to the annoying world of hay fever suffering. My eyes are itching, my nose is tickling and I feel all stuffed up. But hey, I love summer and I don't mind so long as it's sunny. Antihistimines here I come.

Last night was OK - I didn't stop drinking after 3 drinks because I wasn't drunk. 6 drinks in 5 haunted pubs, I didn't see any ghosts, and went back home on the happy side of drunk. Found some nice pubs that we didn't know about and that we will certainly be visiting again.

I have served a total of 3 people today - really makes me feel needed! I have been on the Lonely Planet Thorntree most of the day, discussing literature and famous movie quotes, reminding myself how much I love Michael Marshall Smith and the film Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.

We are not going anywhere this weekend. Well nowhere outside the locality anyway. We are in agreement that we don't want to sit around the house. We will probably go to The Tantric Jazz Cafe tonight for a meal and drinks and tunes, then tomorrow go for a walk around the Leigh Woods area, maybe go and see the Lion King at the IMAX with Graham's bro, maybe have a picnic on the Downs. I'm sure we'll find something interesting to do on Sunday as well. We were thinking of going to Bath but it will be busy because of the fringe festival that's on there at the moment.

Well, that's me off then. Have a good weekend, one and all.

2004-06-02T15:32:00.000+01:00

Oh dear

I've been a bit awful at updating this again. Must try harder.

It's me Nan's birthday today. I would like everybody to join in on wishing her a happy birthday!

I've been in one of those bored trances all day - where you can't do anything to remedy the boredom because you've just gone over the edge into random staring-at-the-wall territory, thinking thoughts that you can't remember if you try to think of them a second later. Sort of like I've been dozing awake.

So what's new? Not a lot. Had a pleasant weekend - Saturday I worked in the morning, played Boules on the Downs with Graham and won, played Boules on the lawn outside our flat and lost (I obviously have a better aim in the rough when I can't actually see where the jack is but have to approximate its whereabouts). Graham was ill in the night, either from the curry we had for dinner or the houmous he had for a snack later on (greedy bugger).

Ade and Sheila came to visit on Sunday and we drank champers and went to The Clifton Sausage, where we ate sausage (unsurprisingly) and champ with onion gravy. Ade, Sheila and I shared ours so we had one each of Beef and ale, Pork, cider and mustard and Chicken, ginger and coconut - and they were all scrummy. Was good to see them, as we haven't seen them together since last November. They stayed over and we had a game of boules with them in the morning before they left. I think Sheila won but nobody remembered to keep score. When they left, Graham and I went out on the town, but Graham only lasted 2 and a bit pints and a cooked breakfast before he was tired and wanted to go home - which was OK by me as I was nackered as well.

Alex texted me from Thailand yesterday - it was good to hear from him, however brief. He was treating himself to a night in a hotel room and had seen the news for the first time since leaving in early May. It's a shame he can't get to email much as I'd love to hear about all his experiences.

As much as I like Doris downstairs, she doesn't seem to appreciate that I might be in a bit of a hurry sometimes and she always stands chatting to me for ages. Last night after a long conversation I offered to get her some things from the supermarket as we were going for a big shop. On returning at about 8pm I knocked on her door to give her her things and she made me go in and kept chatting and chatting and I felt bad that Graham was left taking all the shopping bags upstairs but I couldn't get away - I kept telling her that I'd better help, but every time I started walking off she would come after me and because she didn't have her stick she nearly fell over a couple of times and then I felt really guilty. By the time I had got upstairs, unpacked the shopping and cooked dinner it was gone 9pm. Ah well, she's not going to be around for ever so I suppose I should just appreciate her company whilst we have it.

Tomorrow night we are going out on a haunted Bristol pub crawl - visiting 8 supposedly haunted pubs in about 3 hours. I've got a feeling that we might not get to all of them, and I'm going to have to stop drinking after about 3 drinks anyway as it's part of mine and Graham's new agreement - when one of us gets drunk the other needs to cut back a bit and stay more sober, otherwise we tend to rub each other up the wrong way which leads to silly arguments that should never happen. Being one of Graham's work dos and a schoolnight anyway, I am quite happy to be the one not entering paraletic stage tomorrow.

We may be going to Devon this weekend but it hasn't been decided yet as although I have found 2 fairly cheap places to stay (1 in Torquay and 1 in Babbacombe) at last minute, I haven't been able to canvas Graham for his opinion as he left his mobile at home this morning and has been out on the road all day - he might decide he doesn't want to go after all if his worries about the price of petrol get any worse...

The new Big Brother is going to get on my nerves until someone tells that stupid Kitten to stop spouting so much crap unless there is a point to it all. Attention seeking little idiot. I feel sorry for her poor girlfriend - she must be so embarassed.

2004-05-26T14:33:00.000+01:00

Phewee

I don't want to go into it, as some things are too private to be aired here, but Graham and I have just gone through an extremely tense few days leading on from an argument on Saturday night. It has been a very emotional time, and I really thought that this may be it for us. But we have calmed down and explained our views and talked and talked it through and the good news is that we will hopefully find that we have come out of this stronger than ever due to the fact that we now both know all each others grievances and fears and doubts and are in a clear position to eliminate them all so that nothing gets in the way of our happiness.

I feel slightly strange. It probably has a lot to do with how tired I am, but I feel kind of like I entered a chrysalis as a grubby little caterpillar on Saturday night, and was released last night as a butterfly when we finally sorted things out. The relief I felt about getting to the root of our problems and agreeing on how to solve them was immense, and it really did lift my spirits.

At least we know now not to take the relationship for granted, not to let ourselves slip into the same cycle as before. We've got to work together for each other's happiness.

Countdown to Canada

Our first Canada Day weekend

Wine whine

Exercise

9 months

Fun in the sun

So I bought a kayak...

Awesome

I've found my willpower!

Walking

Good

This weekend

Excuses, excuses

Fandom

Rain

Wrong fit

This is never going to happen

My feet, my feet, my horrid feet

Oh dear

Doing pretty well

Test post

Clearing out

Leaving dos

Camping out - middle class style

O Frabjous Day!

I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me is the Stern Fact, the Sad Self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from.

Poetry

Feeling spiritual

Another test

All work and no play? Never!

Playing the waiting game

Sitting alone in his room, Oral Roberts suddenly realized that pianists collect the souls of extraterrestials

Done and almost dusted

Sorting out things in a Canadian style-ee

Granddad

Wha'?

Waheeeeyyyy!

Last of the limbo?

Moods

I wish I could eat what I wanted

I'm hungry...

Some news

Canadian travel journal part 2

Canadian Travel Journal Part 1: Calgary to Savona

When I say soon...

Banana hammock

Hey look! Over here! It's me!

Just a quickie

Busy?

A piccie from our brain party last week

Brain drain

It's Oh So Quiet...(again)

Queen of the mucus

Curry madness

I don’t like it

Oh! Inverted World

...and in conclusion the point is that there is no point...

New year, new bleurgh

Ding dong merrily on high

Depression

There's a storm brewing

Creative spark

Stop!

oh dear, I appear to be bored

TFI Friday

Choices

Back

I must be excited

2 days to go!

One week

Diet

Genealogy

Rent

Do builders work?

It's hot

That was the week that was

That roast dinner fiasco

I got a brand new pair of trainers

Gripe of the day

So...

Canadian Travel Journal Part 1:
Calgary to Savona