Depression

God it's bad when it hits.

I was so depressed last night, I couldn't find it in me to raise a smile. Graham couldn't help me out of it so that made it even worse. I don't even know what triggered it. I mean there have been areas of dissatisfaction building up in my life recently but nothing that should have put me over the edge. Well, apart from being on my period, but it doesn't normally make me feel that bad emotionally.

After 3 weeks of being together 24/7 in Canada it's not very nice to be back in Bristol with the really miserable weather and us hardly communicating with each other. We spend so much of our time apart - one or the other of us on the computer, the other somewhere else in the house - or together but not speaking because the TV is on. Last night I tried to get him to just spend some time with me, talking, but he didn't seem to want to talk about anything much. He ended up on the PC for a bit and doing housework, and then we ended up in bed reading together.

I dunno, I just miss the connection we have when we're together on holiday. But that's not the only thing I was depressed about. I think I might be suffering from a bit of SAD this year for the first time. Hope it doesn't last!

Anyway, I feel better today so I'll try and concentrate on the positive.

Hing emailed today to say he is going to be in town for a bit this weekend so we are meeting up with him and Jon this evening for drinkies and food. Graham is on call so it won't be a huge night out. Tomorrow Ade and Sheila are down from the North so they're coming round for dinner and drinkies which will be nice. They don't know about our Vancouver flat yet so Graham is hoping to surprise them with it - all they know is that we've got some big news to tell them so they probably think we're getting married or something.

I really would like to try and get into the festive spirit this year so I'm trying to organise some Christmas thingies for us to do - at the moment it looks like we are going to Berkeley Castle on the 10th December for their candlelit open evening complete with christmas trees, choirs, mince pies, mulled wine and possibly an early appearance from Santa. Then on the 16th there is a concert by Shout at St Georges - a multicultural voice choir doing a candlelit christmas special.

I think we will stay in Bristol for new year - try and get a few people together to go out for a nice meal, maybe even Colleys, and then into town for fireworks and festivities and/or back to our place for champagne and chat. Either that or go to Jongleurs for a night of stand-up comedy and fast dancing. Depends on the budget and who wants to come really.